Thursday, March 18, 2010

No will

I don't care how hard I try, I fail. I hardly have the will to tie my shoes. Every day I manage to do that successfully. I guess that's something.


Ange said...

What do you need?
We're here.
Can I send you some tea?

Is it the day to day grind causing the loneliness or the loneliness making the grind seem worse?
Because us friends can help with the grind. House issues? Work? Give us a task. You're not failing. This is the absolute worst time in human history for a woman to lose her soul mate. Everyone's in a pissy mood. Everyone thinks they've got the biggest problems. Nobody's got the sense to distinguish between who's legitimately hurting and whose just faking it to get that easy mental boost.
You got hit harder. Harder than I can stand to think about, and it isn't fair.
What can we do to help you through? Give us some ideas.

Come visit.

(and shit, my word verification is "begin")

Jo said...

You don't fail. You're here, you're writing, for one thing. You're carrying on, you're getting up off the floor. You get knocked down honey, but you get up again, and you will.

And you succeed in so many ways. As friend is one way I know of, as sister is another, and there are many others.

Sit down...get a pen...and a piece of paper and write them out in a list...

"I succeed in/when/by/as..."

From getting out of bed in the morning, through all the things you do, the people whose lives you affect, all the way to bedtime again...

Hugs x

Sir James E. Watkins said...

Oh Becky. Dear Becky. I wish I could give you a big hug. A cyber hugs just doesn't seem adequate right now.

Just know, as always, I'm here.

love and light, James

fineartist said...

Fock those tie on shoes, grab a pair of open backed clogs, or crocks...I can't wait to come to your house to walk, I love walking there. Molly loves walking there, and so do you, it's spring time Bekka. Thank's be to God.

We have to forget what's been just long enough to think about what can be. Okay, that sounded really cliche, but like this, Um, what would I be doing right now if I could? Yeah, but only long term, what would I like to be doing in a month that I'm not doing now? Okay that wasn't very long term, but I've been getting by day to day so it seems long term to me.

Oh and festivals are coming up...primal drumming, men in sarongs, trashing a tent, and it'll be warm.

Man, what good loving friends we have too.

I can only think of one thing that you haven't been able to do in your lifetime that you may feel like you've failed at, and that's getting yourself together after all of the heart slashing pain you've seen in the last two years, but see? You are getting it together, yeah, you're struggling, (not your) but you got this, we got this, and I include everyone on this page.

Hey would meetings help? I'm thinking I may have to hit a codependent meeting or fifty.

fineartist said...

Oh, I just got the coolest idea, why don't we plan a blog party?

I just got chill bumps.

Becky said...

All of you are so wonderful. Thank you for listening to me wine.