Thursday, January 25, 2007

Chou think your bad?

Way back when, I lived in Phoenix (Glendale), AZ. I had been there about a week. My friend Chris and I decided to go for a ride. Chris and I were new to Phoenix and had no idea about the Glendale element. Chris had a beautiful blue Harley Davidson Panhead chopper. It was a bad ass bike. It was all chrome, springer front end, hard tail, pulled back ape hanger handle bars, with a tall sissy bar. It was your classic, old school chopper.

We stopped a QT to get some ciggies. A low rider Chevy pulls in. The young man in the car was glaring at us. He was looking all gang banger with his blue bandanna-doo rag on his head.
He got out of his car and walked towards us. He was wanting a fight. He approached us and asked in a very strong Chicano street accent, “Sooo, chou think your pretty bad on your on harleydavisonmotorcycle, DON'T chou?

Chris and I turned and looked at each other and just started laughing our a$$e$ off. I don't know if it was the accent, the way the guy carried himself, or what. It was just funny. Hell, it was hilarious. The guy gave us a very confused look and just walked away with his tail between his legs, got in his car, and left. Chris and I were still laughing as he pulled out.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Right after I moved to Phoenix

Oh, the Phoenix night life... We were new to Arizona. One night, my buddy Chris and I went out to have a beer. We arrived at this little dive and headed in. We ordered a pitcher and began watching the people. The clientele were mainly bikers. They would enter, their long hair, braids, beards, leathers, and guns. Yes, guns. At the front door was a gun rack. You see, it is legal in Arizona to carry a gun as long as it's not concealed. They would check their guns and sit down, order, and party.

I was sitting at our table thinking, "Hmmm, if I'm going to live here, am I going to need one of those?" So's anyways, I'm drinking, watching, and realizing how much crazier the bikers are in Arizona than Kansas. Drinking beer...I had to pee. "Chris, I'll be right back."

I go in the bathroom, lock the door, and I'm doing my business. Suddenly, I hear chairs and tables being overturned out in the bar and what sounded like a man grunting and growling. Alarmed, I'm thinking, "What in the hell is going on out there?" Suddenly and abruptly, the bathroom door is kicked open. A large, scraggly, bearded, dark haired man, rushes into the bathroom. There I am, sitting there in shock with my pants around my ankles. He comes right up to me, bends over and nose to nose he growls, "You're lucky you're not her." His nose was touching mine, while I was peeing! I would have peed my panties if I didn't already have them pulled down. I said, "Er um, yea". With that, he exited the bathroom and then the bar.

I came out of the bathroom a little shaken. The bar tender was out picking up the chairs and tables. Most everyone was standing up except those at the bar. Many were acting as if it was nothing and most of them were laughing...Well except for Chris. As I was coming out of the bathroom he was running back to me. "It all happened so fast. Are you alright?", he asked. I said, "You know what that guy did?" Of course, I told him, "I was peeing...nose to nose...he said... yadda, yadda, yadda" ... He was trying to keep a straight face, and then we just busted out laughing. I mean, come on, he didn't hurt me. I didn't feel victimized. It was just extraordinarily odd and extremely uncomfortable. What do you do when you feel weird and uncomfortable? Well, I'll tell you. You laugh.

We finished our pitcher and left.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Yours, mine, and ours, and, and....

The Family Dynasty for Jo

Ruth Elvira and Otto Laverne – birthed Grandma Martha who married Grandpa Isaac

Martha Lucille and Isaac Henry – birthed Mom Sharon

Sharon and 1st husband Charles – birthed Pam
Sharon and 2nd husband Dutch – birthed Bill
Sharon and boyfriend Michael – birthed Lori

My dad Jim and 1st wife Verna – birthed Mike and Marian - Verna died after giving birth to Marian

Sharon and 3rd husband (my dad) Jim – birthed Becky, Crystal, Tom, and adopted Judy

Sharon and 4th husband Larry – birthed Brian
Sharon and 5th common-law husband Dick - thank God, no children
Sharon and 6th husband Ted – birthed Kelly
Sharon and 7th husband JD – thank God to old to have children
Sharon and 8th common-law husband Duffy- thank God to old to have children

All brothers and sisters: Mike, Marian, Judy, Pam, Bill, Lori, Becky, Crystal, Tom, Brian, and Kelly.

I know this leaves you begging for a story....Oh, no, I don't want to go there. So, I'm referring you to a post Lori wrote back on 07/28/05. One thing Lori left out is our adopted sister Judy. Jim and Sharon adopted her when she was 15. Judy's mother committed suicide and she had no where to go. She was Marian's friend and Mom and dad legally adopted her so she would not be sent to a foster home. She lived with us until she was married at 17. The second thing she left out was Mom's drunk common-law husband Duffy (yes, he was the last one).

Click on the link below for the sorted story.