Monday, December 29, 2008

Gotta make some changes

This picture was taken in 11/02/08 at the annual "Toys for Tots" run. Ahhhh! I have got to loose some weight! When I saw this pic, it really freaked me out. Pictures do not lie. Although I have to say, that is one bad ass motorcycle. I would look much cooler riding it if I was 30lbs lighter. This is my goal. Maybe after that, I'll go another 20lbs.

I have to concentrate on the future. Sadly, the past is past. I crave happiness. I can't have my Randy back. This doesn't mean I can't create another form of happiness.

This is no New Year resolution, this is me, needing to make a change. I have to do this on my own. No one can help me. I can and will do this. If I want to survive, I have no other choice.


Sassy said...

I need to lose weight too. I also need to make some other changes.

I'm happy to see you are moving forward, even though it's hard. Do it for yourself!

Good luck!

Sir James E. Watkins said...

True. No one can help you. Or say that magic word to whisk it all away. But be there for you I will.

I will.

Rain said...

Becky I think you looking very cool, esp in your header. I hope you find new ways to be happy. It nice when you post something! Keep blogging :)

zilla said...

You're one hot delicious goddess, Beck, just like me.

I'm not ready to confront the fact that my curves have curves at this point. I was gonna wait until the curves in my curves developed dimples, which will probably be sometime tomorrow, because I ate a number two value breakfast (hangover cure) at McDonald's this morning.

I was totally ready to flip the bird at the very mention of New Year's resolutions, but my horoscope for 2009 said, "Dance in the body you have," so I guess I don't even have to make a New Year's resolution, which is only a problem because I'll have to flip the bird at something else.

Oh -- and get this! I stopped by my gym on the other side of town yesterday, because I haven't been there since I moved and I thought I should cancel my membership. There was a sign on the door that said, "CLOSED DUE TO FLOODING."

God speaks to us through floods, you know, and the message was pretty clear: DON'T YOU DARE CANCEL YOUR MEMBERSHIP, MISSY!

Kind of hate to flip off the Lord, but, I don't know ... I'm just NOT going all the way across town to work out.

You'll get your groove back. These things take time, and we're all here to support you.

Josephine said...

Babes. I tried to comment on your last post but I just got this new Blackberry and I screwed it up ;-)

Thinking of you...feeling for you.

You can do this honey. You so can.

My heart burst for you when I read your last post...

Randy would so want you to be writing this, and feeling it, and taking these steps forward for the future. (I say this without ever having known him...but I'm guessing I'm right?) It's the best thing you can do, for you, and for the memory of him.


Little by little. There may be bad days still...but you ARE on your way.

Hugs x

alan said...

Please don't go trying to get all "Twiggy" on us, OK! Marilyn was cool, not Twiggy!


Change all you need to, but please let us come along for the ride? You would be so missed otherwise!

Thank you for looking after our artist friend as well; I can't imagine anything more wonderful than having you in my corner!


Ange said...

I was here a few days ago and demanded you look smoking hot...especially beside that bike. I've been playing Mario Kart Wii, and you've got Rosalina beat for sexiness.

As for concentrating on the future, this is probably why I didn't end up leaving the last comment.
Tough knowing what to say to you, because it was obvious how perfect the two of you were together, and quite honestly, losing a soul mate so soon just goes way beyond my abilities. The unfairness of it.

I know you'll get there. Back to the happiness you're talking about.
It's just a matter of time.

I'm also trying to focus on the future. Have somewhat of an opposite effect going on as you. So many years focused on Jack, and now that it's all turned out just as we'd hoped, I find myself seeking out my new reality, too, and not sure which way to go with it, or maybe a little afraid to move, for fear something will jinx it all.
Something feels different about 2009. Everyone else is so pessimistic, but I'm the opposite, which scares me a bit.
Not that I want to ignore the trials of everyone else, but I just don't want to waste any time.

Not making any sense, so I'll go now.
Been thinking of you, though.
And think you're the best.
Happy New Year!

beckyboop said...

Oh Ange,

Don't think you will jinx it all! I was so happy, I couldn't believe it either. I thought the same thing, "Is this too good to be true?" Don't even waste your time with those thoughts! You and Tom are obviously as happy as Randy and me. Ride it for all it's worth!

I know I'm weird, but I'm picturing you and your family on a surf board, riding a huge waive, to the theme song to Hawaii Five-O.

Ange said...

That settles it.
We need a blog meet-up at the beach.
Do you have a side car for that bike?

fineartist said...

tears, tears, tears, tears,

sunshine, sunshine, sunshine, sunshine

I will it to be so wash the sadness away with tears and bring on the sun.

I love you so so much,