Oh, the Phoenix night life... We were new to Arizona. One night, my buddy Chris and I went out to have a beer. We arrived at this little dive and headed in. We ordered a pitcher and began watching the people. The clientele were mainly bikers. They would enter, their long hair, braids, beards, leathers, and guns. Yes, guns. At the front door was a gun rack. You see, it is legal in Arizona to carry a gun as long as it's not concealed. They would check their guns and sit down, order, and party.
I was sitting at our table thinking, "Hmmm, if I'm going to live here, am I going to need one of those?" So's anyways, I'm drinking, watching, and realizing how much crazier the bikers are in Arizona than Kansas. Drinking beer...I had to pee. "Chris, I'll be right back."
I go in the bathroom, lock the door, and I'm doing my business. Suddenly, I hear chairs and tables being overturned out in the bar and what sounded like a man grunting and growling. Alarmed, I'm thinking, "What in the hell is going on out there?" Suddenly and abruptly, the bathroom door is kicked open. A large, scraggly, bearded, dark haired man, rushes into the bathroom. There I am, sitting there in shock with my pants around my ankles. He comes right up to me, bends over and nose to nose he growls, "You're lucky you're not her." His nose was touching mine, while I was peeing! I would have peed my panties if I didn't already have them pulled down. I said, "Er um, yea". With that, he exited the bathroom and then the bar.
I came out of the bathroom a little shaken. The bar tender was out picking up the chairs and tables. Most everyone was standing up except those at the bar. Many were acting as if it was nothing and most of them were laughing...Well except for Chris. As I was coming out of the bathroom he was running back to me. "It all happened so fast. Are you alright?", he asked. I said, "You know what that guy did?" Of course, I told him, "I was peeing...nose to nose...he said... yadda, yadda, yadda" ... He was trying to keep a straight face, and then we just busted out laughing. I mean, come on, he didn't hurt me. I didn't feel victimized. It was just extraordinarily odd and extremely uncomfortable. What do you do when you feel weird and uncomfortable? Well, I'll tell you. You laugh.
We finished our pitcher and left.
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18 comments:
Becky I am so feeling a road trip to Chris's, and Denise's....real soon.
I mean that.
I need my Chris fix.
I would have DIED on the spot!
So glad you survived to tell the tale, Becky.
wait...that was YOU?!?!?!
small world...
juuuuuuust kidding...I only go into women's bathrooms by mistake, not out of anger
(aside: holy cow the word verification for this comment is like a hundred letters long...)
Pearl, HAD a wild life is the key word. My life is so mellow now. I have to write about the past to break the monotony.
Lori, Do you really mean it? You know how you hate to travel. Love you.
Zilla, I am telling ya, I just
about did!
Ron, you crack me up! Are all the word verifications getting longer? I've noticed they are.
Holyeeee! Bye bye AZ and hello Kansas!
Very much enjoyed your blog...GREAT bike.
Ahh. Y'all's stories. I tell ya.
I wish I could tell mine.
There are still a few of them left (old men) though. After they die, I'll be able to talk.
After reading Ron’s comment, allow me to say that I prefer the ladies room (in a public setting, of course. When I finally build our new house, distinguishing the two would be helpful in this “house.”) because they are always so much more cleanly.
But I do knock first.
Thank you Becky, for having the balls to vote! (I'm strongly leaning toward Viking B, myself. It's the scruffy facial hair, I think; although, I understand he's recently undergone some manscaping...)
LOL! You also laugh when you are going craaaaazy.
*laughing*
Hey lady. That was a great story, and I don't think I've ever heard it before, since I never knew you lived in Phoenix.
You wild woman, you!
When are you gonna tell the one about Rich and his beer? His hell...and the neighbor peacock? and the spanish people with the low rider? And, oh sister tell it all, don't leave out one piece of it, and if ya want me to proof it, and make sure you didn't forget one little funny as hell detail sind it to me via e-mail-eo and I'll look it over.
Okay now I'm off to re add Ron to your linky ma jiggies...hope it works for me since you have been having problems gettin er done...
"We finished our pitcher and left." I'm thinking... GOOD CHOICE! ~ jb////
Nice AZ biker bar story! Oh man, I have a right after I moved to Phoenix story too. Like James, I don't feel comfortable telling mine. But I am glad that you write these memories Becky. They are so vivid and funny. I'm sure glad you didn't get hurt that night. What a hoot!
Jeez Becky...just Jeez...
What a fun night out. Not.
Was reminded of a story I was told by some friends who lived in China, in this provincial city a few years back. There was always this tension with ex pat Europeans...China can be a pretty parochial place still, and my friends had to put up with quite a lot of racial abuse (they speak fluent Cantonese and understood every word, which most of the locals didn't expect). One night they are at this bar where Americans, Australians and Europeans would hang out in, a 'safe' place...and this bunch of thugs burst in and start smashing the place up and detaining foreigners. My friends leap up and the bartender signals to them to the back exit where they make their escape. As they're leaving, they say to the bartender, "For God's Sake, call the police!!", and he says "They are the police"
Jo, AAAHHH, that's waaaay scarier than my story.
LOL for ten minutes.
Would make a fantastic scene in a very entertaining and award winning film.
Not my story, but it reminded me of a male Marine friend who sat down on the crapper in Afghanistan (a shack with boards and holes with poop shoots) to crap, when all of a sudden the door opened and it was a woman soldier.
He was quite embarassed, (and bare assed, mid-pinch off), when she pulled her pants down, sat on the hole next to him (so they were rubbing bare thighs) and SHE began to crap.
She asked him to pass her a magazine and he started laughing.
She said, "What? I have to crap, too."
He said, "Could you please not talk until we're through?"
It's difficult enough for me to go number 2 in a stall while someone else of the same gender is in the room, let alone stall (I just hold it until they leave), but to have to sit next to a total opposite gendered stranger while crapping!?! I'd rather poop my pants and be called ole poopy pants.
What a wonderful afternoon you've provided for me!! Nose to nose. I can totally see it and it's just too damn hilarious.
woah! I'll remember not to go to that bar when up in phoenix!
and it's legal in arizona to carry a gun as long as it's not concealed? I'm suprised I don't see more pistols being openly flaunted. damn.
that's one crazy story. I wonder who the other lady the guy who came nose to nose with you was referring to. I guess I'd be glad I wasn't her, too.... eeek!
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