Alright, I'm going to tell you the real story of my broken leg, damn it!
So's anyways.....I've cooked the potatoes...I ran out to my car to get my antique strainer I had purchased at the flee market that day with Lori (that's where I got the damned strainer). How could Lori have forgotten my great find that day, I don't know. My heal caught the end of the last stair and down I went. I jumped up as fast as I could and looked around to see if anyone saw (ya know, like you do when you do a graceful move like that, and had a hard time trying to stand. I tried to get to my car and realized I couldn't. I made it back in the house and got one hell of a head rush. Told everyone I fell. My ex brother-in-law Mike (that son of a bitch) said, "Well, I don't have to rake my yard, you have the leaves on your sweater". He did not belive anything was wrong with my leg. It didn't hurt, it was numb. (I say all of this with love). By the time I got back in the house Mike had already strained the potatoes and it was all done in vain.
When I found out I broke my leg, I called and told them, " You son of bitches, I broke my leg!" I had to make them feel the guilt.
Sorry I use son of bitches so much. These are my words. Lori's words are "cock suckers", and our sister Crystal's word is bastards. This is when we are in a bitch fest talking about our men. We cuss like truck drivers in our family. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.
Well, that's the real story! Lori wasn't even there! Just kiddin'.
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- beckyboop
- I'm 48. Had a crazy life. I lost my husband, my job and my son moved out. I'm trying to recreate my life. I'm progressing slowly but surely.
12 comments:
Oh man, oh man, little sisters, gotta love em, or wring their necks for em. Heeeeeee.
Or simply break one of their legs.
Okay, what's with tellin' everybody that I sometimes, rarely, hardly ever use the term, rooster suckers?
Just kidding.
Love you postulie poolio. (My mommy's goolio...) A little one of YOUR secrets, lyrics by Becky....
xxx, Lori
Lori, I personally feel that it was a master piece, to have composed those lyrics at the age of two....my sweet sister.
Maybe not Mozart material but genius...anyways...I'll have to tell them about the time you told on us for stealing the car.....narc. I love you too.
bastard son of a bitch cocksuckin fucker!
ROFL! Welcome to blogland :-)
Me, I prefer 'total arsehole' and 'wanker'.
Hi Becky! Thanks for giving us the inside info on Lori ;)
I personally yfeel that Fucktard encompasses all the emotion I ever need to express. It's my preferred cuss word.
My mom's favorites are 'fucka duck twice' and 'shit on a shingle'. Yeah, she's a little weird.
Well...them sonofabitches! hehehe
Well, brown my britches! I always thought when you break a bone you feel the snap.
oh that is hilarious! great hearing the "real" story from the first-hand perspective. god your family cracks me up to death. I love the fact that you bought an antique strainer in the first place. and wanted to use it!
and now I have some further insight to your communication styles as well. fascinating. I wonder what my word is. now I'll be thinking about it and keeping a look out. I like wanker though - it sounds exotic. and fucktard is pretty cool too, seeing as it's more unique :-P
anyway, so great to have you here becky. keep bloggin! I love it!
Becky!
Come back!
You're not whizzing round Europe soaking up culture and charming the locals are you?
You're stuck indoors with family and mess and murphy's law and weird people up the road like the rest of us, yes?
Tell us another story!
:-)
I loved all of your comments. I have to say, "fucktard" has us all beat!
I had no idea you broke your leg! That's just crazy man. Maybe the antique strainer was cursed! Yeah, man, it was cursed by the Antique Strainer Witch of parts unkown, cursed to make whoever buys it break a leg in their haste to use it! Yeah, I can see it now. Some college kids went into the woods in search of the Antique Strainer Witch and were never seen or heard from again man! Now the strainer turns up in flea markets all over the country, breaking legs while straining pastas. BACK AWAY FROM THE STRAINER BECKY!!!! KEEP YOUR ONE GOOD LEG SAFE!!!!
Oh yeah, and one of my favorites is "fuckbreath". As in, "you have breath that smells like fuck". Berserker.
love ya,
hoo
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