Yesterday I packed up most of Randy's clothes. It was very difficult. I was crying but still keeping it together. I was listening to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. The song "Our house" came on. I looked out the window and my realtor was placing the "For Sale" sign in my yard. I absolutely lost it. I was crying so hard, Devin came to console me. I hated the fact he saw me like that. He was very sweet and understanding and hugged me until I stopped. I apologized. I told him I was fine now and thanked him. The last thing I want to do is appear weak to my son. I feel he relies on my strength. It was nice enough, so I took the Sporster out for a ride to gather myself.
Today was much better. It is freakishly warm outside. It is 7:30pm and it is 71 degrees. I still have the windows open. It actually got up to 78 today. I went riding for about two hours on the Electraglide. The wind was so strong out of the south my ponytail kept coming around a slapping me in my face. It was definitely a day to keep both hands on the handlebars. Still felt so good to get my hair in the wind and my knees in the breeze. Coming back home going north the wind was at my back; no ponytail slaps. It was beautiful! I didn't even need a jacket. Came home and pattied up some burgers and Devin grilled them. That boy of mine is the GRILL MASTER!
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16 comments:
I'm so sorry hon. Selling your house on top of everything else must be so hard. I hope you find a great new place to live. Your son has a wonderful, strong mother to look up to. Aren't our kids the same age? Didn't we joke once about fixing them up? They just love when we have ideas like that, don't they ;)
But you know what, Becky? It's okay for Devon to experience his mom as an emotionally whole and connected human being. Better he should see some tears, than wonder if you're made of stone.
And didn't you do just a lovely job re-orienting your day, seizing the good weather for a much needed ride? That's strength, and Devon saw that, too.
Pat yourself on the back, woman. And toss a burger my way, will ya? Our grill is still under twelve icy inches.
Lots of emotions in this one. Boy.
I just want to leave some sort of comic relief here, but got nothing but a great image of a strong woman on her bike, pulling through.
So glad to know you.
Your strength just keeps on amazing me.
It's been freakishly warm here, too. Hmmmm, I wonder if that's coincidence? Warm weather for a great ride, just when it so very much needed?
You're a powerful, beautiful woman Becky, and I love you so much. But I guess you know that cuz I'm a big lesbian and tell you all the time. :)
I'm so sorry. So sorry that I don't even know what to say. You rock, Aunt Becky. You rock! Just remember that. =)
*hugs*
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I've been thinking about you and Lori and wondering how you were doing..
I'm glad you found a job and hopefully it will help you to heal..
Hang in there..!!
sounds like your healing becky...your a very strong woman and I know thing will get better for you...
im sorry you had to sell your house..didnt realize you were doing that...i hope you find a nice place to move to.
I think it's good that you let Devin comfort you. When you guys were here he comforted me too. He just sort of rubbed my hand until I stopped crying. I think we love more when we let people comfort us, and when we comfort them.
Sometimes people have a hard time being comforted. I do. I always feel awkward, and like I'm being a pain in the rear, but I think I'm learning to let it happen more.
love you, and I'm sorry, that "our house," damn.
I am sending you a huge cyber hug and much love Becky!
Thinking of you and Devon . . . .
How've you been??
Becky ~ Ah... GRILLIN' TIME! My time of year!~ jb///
I miss you!!!
I love my friend, Becky.
(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Are you sold up and re-settled?
Nice view?
OK neighbours?
Shops not total rubbish?
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