Maintaining Balance

Patience my ass, I want to kill something

2010-09-09T00:04:00.005-05:00

I am ready to start a new. Someone buy my f'n house so I can move on. Okay, so I have only had it for sale by owner since 09/01. Come on already!

On a totally unrelated matter...I got to sit in an Apache helicopter. It was awesome. It was surprising I was allowed to considering my patience level (they obviously didn't know). I was watched very closely and instructed not to touch any of the controls. Randy would have loved this opportunity. I did it for him really. Don't get me wrong, it was still exciting. I have to say that I felt pretty badass. Check out the guns and missile launchers on this baby!

Melody

2010-08-25T00:25:00.000-05:00

Do you ever hear a song and it moves you deep in your soul? Feelings you had or feelings you've never had come rushing forward. It hits you primordially, sexually, completely emotionally. That's when you know you like it. Now that's good music.

Check out Sarah's foodie blog

2010-08-15T12:31:00.008-05:00

My young cousin Sarah has her own foodie blog. The recipes are wonderful and easy! Check it out!

Blogger is not posting her link. I will try to correct it later. Until then....

http://ateenfoodie.blogspot.com/

Look at my orbs

2010-06-15T19:13:00.003-05:00

Storm Damage

2010-05-12T11:13:00.002-05:00

Okay, shingles were blowing off my roof holding up the placing my house for sale. Thank God the insurance company is going to cover it! A new roof will help me sell the house. Woo woo!

In thought

2010-04-27T00:45:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I disappear. Five or ten minutes. I'm back. I think it's uncertainty.

Dressing the house up to sell

2010-04-15T11:38:00.003-05:00

What keeps me

2010-04-14T01:37:00.002-05:00

Am I emotionally, financially bound to this house? Why do I stay? I'm not happy with my job or my personal life. I took these pictures of what binds me right before I started writing. I find them unnerving.

I wish I could save my son.

My Plan

2010-04-08T01:06:00.003-05:00

The harder I try, the harder I'm falling. I am about to be fired from my job. I have one more chance to meet the metrics and then I'm gone. All calls are recorded. All of my calls are being scrutinized. I'm called in an office to listen to my calls as they pick them apart. I have never been so micromanaged. Fire me already! I need to do a quick sale on my home and get the fuck out of Kansas City before my life is in complete shambles.

No comments necessary.

One victory

2010-03-19T02:25:00.001-05:00

After three submissions, I finally was approved for my loan modification on my home! One down...

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No will

2010-03-18T01:59:00.000-05:00

I don't care how hard I try, I fail. I hardly have the will to tie my shoes. Every day I manage to do that successfully. I guess that's something.

Where have I been?

2010-03-10T02:33:00.002-06:00

I've been devastated, depressed, lonely, unhappy, angry, confused, hurt, crying, pitiful, isolated, bewildered... I haven't been blogging because I have nothing good or even eventful to write. I don't feel any passion for life or writing, it has been lost in this horrible nightmare of disbelief. What happened? In 2008, within four months, everything I loved and counted on (took for granted) was taken from me. How can you replace the irreplaceable?

Lori and I have decided we need therapy. We are doing two hour sessions each week with one another. This week Lori is to work on being mean. Yes, that's right. I want her to say what she really feels to people. I know by doing this she will gain respect. People will be saying, "Don't mess with Lori, she doesn't take any shit." I am to work on making plans to get out of the house. My therapeutic assignment is to go riding with my friend Rick. I mean really, why go to a counselor when we have each other. I tried it. I spilled my guts and then the session would be over. Hell, I tell Lori everything I told the therapist. Quite frankly it was difficult repeating it. I got no advice. I think the woman thought I would be content by talking for 40 minutes while she did nothing but listen.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Look out you poor bastards, Lori and I going to spill." I'm not going to say which one is which, but we are desperate and pathetic. It has got to change. I am warning you, this will be a process and not an event. Come to my blog if you need some cheer...NOT. Lori and I will be keeping you posted on our progress. I'm sure there will be some, isn't that right Lori?

I have missed all of you! I'm back.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting." Joseph Campbell

Landscaping at my house

2009-09-15T09:54:00.006-05:00

I finally broke down and did a little landscaping in my yard. I always thought it would just be more work...and it is. I LIKE it. I planted two trees and added a garden in the front of the house. I wanted to extend the garden wall all the way to end the end of the house. Drats! Two stumps were in the way. I also added a picture of the mamma deer that lives in the pasture directly on the other side of the barbed wire fence in my back yard. She has twin fawns. They were so camofaged I could not get a good pic of them. What was I thinking wanting to sell my house? I'm keeping it damn it! Anyone what to be my roomate?

Party at Damon's

2009-06-29T19:48:00.005-05:00

I had a great time this weekend. Lori, Crystal, Goldie, Connie, my dog Mollie, and I went to visit my friend Damon. Even though it took 5 hours, the drive was beautiful. The rolling hills, plateaus and the flint hills were breath taking. My cousin Darren was there as well as their friend Jane. The three of them are best friends. He blended pina coladas and grilled chicken and ribs. He served us a plethora of munchies. We swam, listened to music, did a little pool side dancing, and enjoyed wonderful conversation with friends!

We listened to 60's R&B, blues, 70's rock, and some Pagan music. Lori has been on a quest for the odd and unusual and picked up a CD at a Dragon Dance Festival. The name of the group is Spellsinger . It was very soulful and primal at the same time. I'm not sure the guys liked it as well as the girls. I thought all of the music was phenomenal!

Molly was invited to hang out with Damon's golden retriever Jake. She is actually quite smitten with him. Even the dogs had fun.

Damon took us shopping at a hippie shop. I bought a girlie skull cap and some goofy stickers. The other girls bought hippie shirts and sarongs. We all bought incense. Then he took us all out for ice cream. He knows what girls like! He is the host with the most. He spoiled all of us girls. We all love us some Damon!

I love nice weather!

2009-03-05T19:14:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I packed up most of Randy's clothes. It was very difficult. I was crying but still keeping it together. I was listening to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. The song "Our house" came on. I looked out the window and my realtor was placing the "For Sale" sign in my yard. I absolutely lost it. I was crying so hard, Devin came to console me. I hated the fact he saw me like that. He was very sweet and understanding and hugged me until I stopped. I apologized. I told him I was fine now and thanked him. The last thing I want to do is appear weak to my son. I feel he relies on my strength. It was nice enough, so I took the Sporster out for a ride to gather myself.

Today was much better. It is freakishly warm outside. It is 7:30pm and it is 71 degrees. I still have the windows open. It actually got up to 78 today. I went riding for about two hours on the Electraglide. The wind was so strong out of the south my ponytail kept coming around a slapping me in my face. It was definitely a day to keep both hands on the handlebars. Still felt so good to get my hair in the wind and my knees in the breeze. Coming back home going north the wind was at my back; no ponytail slaps. It was beautiful! I didn't even need a jacket. Came home and pattied up some burgers and Devin grilled them. That boy of mine is the GRILL MASTER!

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I found a job!!!!

2009-02-20T13:50:00.004-06:00

I found a job!!! It is a call center environment for diabetic supplies. I'll be making less than half of what I was making. What ever it takes to get me the hell out of this house. I'm stir crazy...I'm crazy crazy.

The coolest thing about it is I will be working with one of my old AT&T mates. Together, we can make this job fun. I start 03/09/09.

Now, it's Rain's turn. (There goes that "it's/its" thing again.) Get 'em Rainy!

"So, how many diabetic supplies do you need today? I will have them delivered to your door step. Don't worry, we bill Medicare directly. Have a nice day."

You all have a nice day too.

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It's vs. its

2009-02-15T12:31:00.011-06:00

It's me and Randy. It's my Sporster. Its pipes are loud. The other is an Electraglide. It's mine as well. Its seat is comfortable.

I have always found it's and its annoying. I'm annoyed that it just doesn't seem to be common sense. I'm annoyed when people use it incorrectly. I'm annoyed when I use it incorrectly.

I had a manager that had me type a flyer for her. She taught business classes at a community college. It was to be mailed out to faculty members and students. I corrected it's to its because she meant ownership of, and she changed it back. I'll bet she thought I was stupid. I wonder if the students and faculty thought she was.

I'm bored. I am actually sharing one of my idiosyncrasies, or should I say idiot secrecy's that should probably remain secret. I always over share.

It's is a contraction for it is or it has.
Its is a possessive pronoun meaning, more or less, of it or belonging to it.
And there is absolutely, positively, no such word as its'.
A simple test
If you can replace it[']s in your sentence with it is or it has, then your word is it's; otherwise, your word is its.
Another test
Its is the neuter version of his and her. Try plugging her into your sentence where you think its belongs. If the sentence still works grammatically (if not logically) then your word is indeed its.
Examples
It's been good to know you. Contraction: it has It's a bird! It's a plane! Contraction: it is
The dodo bird is known for its inability to fly. Possessive pronoun: its inability = the dodo bird's inability

http://www.stormloader.com/garyes/its.html

Oh, I'm bored.

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Valentine's Day - Our 14th Anniversary

2009-02-03T10:36:00.008-06:00

As Valentine's Day approaches, depression is setting in again. I miss my husband. I found a stack of anniversary cards he had saved that I had given him over the years. He was so much more sentimental than I ever thought, much more than me.

We were married when Devin was 3 in Lake Tahoe, California and Nevada, February 14th, 1995. We eloped at a hotel called The Calneva. Half the hotel was in California and the other in Nevada. We got our marriage license in California. Our room was in Nevada. The ceremony was done in our room. However, we had to go down to the hotel lobby, walk over the state line to be pronounced man and wife in California to make it all legal. There was a big yellow line across the floor of the hotel to signify the state line. What a beautiful part of our fine country. The scenery was absolutely breath taking. We were there for 4 days, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday (the 14th). We had our honeymoon first and then our wedding. Oh whatever, we did everything else backward too. Saturday we went snow mobiling up in the mountains. You would not believe how beautiful it was. We took so many pictures and had so many people take pictures of us. Sunday, we were supposed to go skiing. There was a huge snow storm and we were not able to. (Thank God. I was not at all excited about slapping two sticks on my feet and plunging myself down a mountain.) We drove around town in our rented jeep and took several pictures. It was windy as hell but the dangerous part of the storm had already came in the night. The roads had been cleared. The snow banks on the side of the roads had to have been 15 feet tall. It was like some large machine had burrowed a path through the snow. The lake itself reminded me of the ocean. The waves on the beach were ferocious that day.

Randy was supposed to have put film in the camera, but forgot. Needless to say, those memories are captured in my mind. We laughed about that. I still do. We do have pictures of the ceremony, luckily we noticed right before we got married. We also have video of the storm, the view from our window and the wedding. The view from our window was like a post card and the video of our wedding, priceless.

We decided to wait until Monday to get our marriage license. We were thinking most places would be closed on the weekends and it seemed the logical choice. Nope, not in Lake Tahoe. I guess many people elope there on the weekends, not on Monday. City Hall was closed as well as all the chapels. The wedding was planned for Tuesday and desperation was setting in. We called everywhere. Finally we got a hold of a mom and pop chapel in Auburn, CA. It was a sixty mile drive, but well worth it. Ahhh, memories...

I can't find a job. Money is running out. My hope is running out.

Happy Anniversary my sweet. With your love and support, I would be fine right now no matter the circumstances. Why did you leave me?

A poem borrowed from my friend Jo's blog. It defines how I'm feeling better than any words I can say.

Into Your Light

My outstretched hands are becoming accustomed
to the solitude into which you have thrown me
more alone
than I could ever bear to be.

I am learning to live
with the death you have chosen for me,
more painful than any death
I have ever chosen to go through.

My eyes are adapting
to the darkness you have chosen for me,
darker than any darkness
I ever knew or chose.

I am learning to recognise
the many disguises of your love,
deeper than any love
I have ever experienced.

And slowly it dawns on me
being lonely is: turning to you
death is: a deep and joyous life
darkness is: finally seeing you light
and love is: being born over and over again.

Ulrich Shaeffer

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My Fish Tank for Jack and Pickles

2009-01-29T17:10:00.009-06:00

The Godfather. Please see the video below for commentary.

Looks like there is a little schmuck on the tank. I'll have to take care of that.

I guess you can bring your mom and dad with ya if ya want. Hugs!!

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Kids, Grandma Aunt Becky is worn out

2009-01-18T14:05:00.006-06:00

It is my niece's 6th wedding anniversary this weekend. She and her husband's relationship reminds me of mine and Randy's. I love, love, love them and their children. Cole is 5 and Cierra is 3. Tell me what the hell I was thinking to believe I could handle the both of them this weekend! I wanted to take one at a time. However, due to the extenuating circumstances I said, "Oh yes, the kids and Great Aunt Becky will have a great time! Now, you guys go have a romantic weekend."

Cole, "Grandma Aunt Becky, Grandma Aunt Becky (that is what they call me), can I play Devin's Nintendo 360?" Me, "No, you have to get dressed wash your face, brush your teeth and eat breakfast." I have never seen a child move at the speed of sound before now. He was done in five minutes. I could leave him in front of the TV from dawn to dusk and he would be happy as long as the Nintendo was on.

Cierra, "Grandma Aunt Becky, Grandma Aunt Becky, can you read me a story? Can you read me another story? Can we play hide and seek? I'm hungry, I gotta poop. I'm hungry, I gotta poop. I'm hungry. I gotta poop." I can't tell you how many times I heard that. "Can I fix your hair? Can you fix mine? Can we put makeup on? Can we play blocks? No, I changed my mind, I don't want to play blocks. No, I changed my mind, I don't want you to read me a story. Me, "We will play with blocks and you're gonna like it!!"

Friday, we went to McD's and had dinner and played and played. I felt like a hamster. A really large hamster with sore knees. Watched Nim's Island before going to bed. Great movie.

Saturday, we went to the grocery store. We got a "car cart". These small town kids were in heaven. It was like a trip to the carnival for them. Came home and had kid hors d'oeuvres. We had cheese cubes, apple chunks and diced hot dogs on toothpicks. Neither of them poked their eyes out with them, which was a relief to me. We watched The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and snacked on popcorn and Goldfish. Another fab movie.

Sunday we went to the Wonderscope Children's Museum. A different adventure waited in every room. Cierra and I went grocery shopping with her mini cart and Cole checked us out. We went to the moon and gathered moon rock. We celebrated H2Oh! We experimented with flowing, squirting and splashing. Constructed pipes for more flowing. There were little boats and rubber duckies. There was a real sea turtle and Iguana. The hospital room was the kid's favorite, paging Dr. Cole, paging Dr Cierra...Off to the art room where we painted each other's faces and sported blue mustaches for the rest of the day. We played with huge vacuum hoses that sucked in scarves and furry balls and blew them out (my personal favorite). We dropped golf balls down rails that went loopty loop and round and round. We went in a submarine constructed mostly of Lego's. We wore vests with little plastic air tanks on the back, goggles, and swimming fins. Ahhh, it was so funny watching all the little kids trip and fall with those fins on. I know, I'm sick.

"Grandma Aunt Becky, you are beautiful and awesome. I love you."

We have had a lot of fun. I am definitely ready to take them home tomorrow. Grandma Aunt Becky needs her beauty sleep so she can be awesome some more.

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These bags are heavy. I can't carry any more.

2009-01-13T10:08:00.004-06:00

Some people I love disappoint me so. The decisions they make truly effect me and my life. I know it sounds selfish. I have helped, supported, and fought for them. Their actions not only hurt them but all who are around that love them.

I can't take anymore disappointment to the degree it has been thrust upon me and that I have thrust upon myself because of love. There comes a point when you have to let them face the consequences for their own bad choices in life. Shame on me if I come to the rescue for their careless choices. That pain is transferred to me. They choose to repeat the same behavior expecting different results, but I no longer want to. I can no longer carry the load of someone who chooses to inflict or invite pain on themselves. It sickens me.

I'm so sad and disappointed. I feel the pain of loss of those loved ones.

Sometimes when I'm doing busy work, spending time with a friend, or even enjoying a movie, I forget for awhile. It is like a sudden and unexpected slap in the face when you remember, "My husband is gone, I have no job. I have a teenager to raise with no help. Lord, give me the strength. I have to do this. I have no choice. I can't carry this pain with me forever. It is too heavy. I certainly can't expect anyone else to. This is pain I did not choose, but is mine. I feel like a victim, but will not remain one. I have steps I must take."

Please overcome whatever reason you invite pain in your life. It not only effects you. It effects everyone around you. Misery loves company? No, misery loves miserable company. I picture it like this... large bags wrapped around your neck, slung over your shoulders, wrapped around your ankles, your hunched over, trudging and dragging while the owner of it all walks in front of you empty handed and/or collecting more. Your back, neck and shoulders ache. Your legs are so tired you are not sure you can take another step. They are still miserable, but have succeeded in making you as miserable if not more, because you are carrying their load.

You, "Can you please help me with some of your luggage? I have some of my own that are quite heavy and I'm exhausted." Them, "You know what I have been through. Of course, I'm not going to deal with it myself. I will think you are a bad person if you don't. No, if you really love me and want my love, you will have to carry it all."

It is pathetic and desperate. I didn't mind carrying them temporarily, but I will not carry them forever or over and over again. I have dropped them. You have to clean up the mess and pick up the pieces. Get rid of them because I will not carry them again.

I don't care if I'm grammatically correct. I had to purge. Please, do not carry any of my grief with you!!! I would not wish that on anyone. I mean it!

I am going to be alright. It is going to be alright.

...... I just felt this overwhelming feeling to add, "Jo, we are going to be alright."

My friend is so cool, he doesn't care if you think he is cool

2009-01-04T22:23:00.004-06:00

One of my best friends in the world! He builds bad ass, yet affordable VW trikes. Check him out in this video! I'm going to visit him and his wife. I can't wait. I love those guys! They make me laugh. Hardly anything better than laughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q6l6_T7LTE

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Gotta make some changes

2008-12-29T11:43:00.006-06:00

This picture was taken in 11/02/08 at the annual "Toys for Tots" run. Ahhhh! I have got to loose some weight! When I saw this pic, it really freaked me out. Pictures do not lie. Although I have to say, that is one bad ass motorcycle. I would look much cooler riding it if I was 30lbs lighter. This is my goal. Maybe after that, I'll go another 20lbs.

I have to concentrate on the future. Sadly, the past is past. I crave happiness. I can't have my Randy back. This doesn't mean I can't create another form of happiness.

This is no New Year resolution, this is me, needing to make a change. I have to do this on my own. No one can help me. I can and will do this. If I want to survive, I have no other choice.

Lost

2008-12-26T23:36:00.002-06:00

I feel pain and anguish. I feel incomplete. I no longer know what my life goals are. I don't know what I want. I no longer have a partner. It is me and my son. I'm afraid. Does he love me? Will he always love me? Will he resent or hate me when he is older? Does he hate and resent me now? I hope not. He is all I have. Where am I? Where am I going? What am I going to do for the rest of my life? How long will I feel this way? It is so hard to pretend every day. I know it will never be the same.

Summer Slam

2008-09-21T08:36:00.005-05:00

We rocked. I have never done the "rock on" sign before. I always felt too old. But hey, as Jethro Tull said, "You're never too old to rock-n-roll." We scored some box seats and my family and friends got into the music.
Me and my best friend. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but we looked kinda gay. Hell, I probably would marry her if she had a penis. She doesn't though, so best friend status it is.

My niece and her husband, totally in love, did the concert kinda dancin' thing. Well, they started out doing the concert kinda dancin' thing and ended up dancing their asses off. My nephew-in-law made me get off my ass and dance several times. Of course, there was a couple sitting next to us that did everything but have sex. I don't know, I am like a magnet at concerts for that kind of shit.???

Back to my neice and her husband, they reminded me of me and Randy. Randy was way too cool to dance but the dynamic of their relationship almost mirrors ours. They say what is on their minds and move on, laughing afterwards. They know what they can change and what they can't, they accept, and love whole heartedly.

Let's not forget my adopted nephew. I had to take him. He is a widower at 33. I've always loved that boy. We truly have a lot in common now. As long as they invite me to come to the concerts, I will invite him to every one of them. He told me music gets him through.

I took some of Randy's ashes there that night. I sprinkled them at his hidey-hole about 400 feet behind the stage, under a tree. He would go there to smoke and de-stress. The whole crew was there and a couple of vendors. They all respected my husband and told me they were honored to share the moment.

We screamed, danced, and laughed at the concert...because your never too old to rock-n-roll but you can be too young to die.

Looking Forward

2008-09-12T16:23:00.002-05:00

It is nice to have something to look forward to. I am excited about next Friday. I am going to miss Ange's gathering. I will be there in spirit! I can't miss this.

Friday September 19
4pm Doors, 5pm Show
Summer Slam
Buckcherry, Seether, Shinedown, Theory of a Deadman, Saving Abel, Red Line Chemistry

Thanks to Randy's legacy, Devin and I have backstage/all access passes. We are taking friends as well. I really enjoy Seether's music and who doesn't like "Crazy Bitch" by Buck Cherry? It is the last concert of the season.

I am ready to rock.

I can't stop or I think

2008-09-07T01:00:00.004-05:00

It is so hard to try to relax. I try. Last night Devin spent the night with a friend. It was the first time I had been alone in the house since last summer. It was and is difficult. No matter what you do, there is a thought, a memory; good ones, bad ones. What you would give to just experience any one of them again.

I read my good friend’s poem and it got me thinking. “I am going to sit on my back deck and relax. Well, in order to relax, I am going to set up my new mini rock water fountain. I know, I have a table down in the garage that would be perfect. Oh wow, this garage is a mess.” And it was, from all of the people here after Randy passed. All the smokers hung out there. Devin had his X-Box and games all over the work bench. All were hooked into to the TV that hangs off the wall. Took all his crap and placed it strategically on a chair @#$ ? I placed tools back in Randy’s tool box. Wiped the work top down. It looked so nice. I spotted the table.

On top the table sat Randy’s old garage stereo and his broken side view mirror from his truck. I took the stereo and the mirror and placed it in a trash pile. I looked around and spotted other things to add to the pile. Randy had replaced his electric motors for his truck windows. I cleaned up the boxes with the old motors and placed them in the pile. Placed THE table inside the family room. Put everything on the desk away and dusted it. Moved other stuff back where it belonged. I vacuumed the industrial throw rugs. Oh yeh, the table.

I bring the table in, wash it up. Move it to the deck. Rinse my fountain and the rocks that go in it. I place the fountain on the table. “Hmmm, that doesn't look quite right there.” I move it around. I decide to move the rest of the deck furniture around. Finally, I move it back exactly the way it was in the first place. Place a chair in front of mine for a foot stool. Get a glass of Iced Tea. Turned on my fountain. Ahhh, I sit down. Had to move the rocks in the fountain strategically so the light would not be too bright. By this time it is completely dark and a little cool. Got up and got a blanky. Sat down. Got back up because the lights in the house were messing with my serenity (what serenity?!) Turned off the lights. Sat back down. Ahhhhh. Try to meditate.Take some deep breaths. Take some more.

Instantly flooded with memories. Cry. Breathe. Cry. Breathe. Cry. Man I want a cigarette! I want to see swirls of smoke. I realize I can see my breath. I inhale and exhale and see the swirls of smoke. A little relaxation. Inhaling fresh air and exhaling pain and loneliness. Inhaling some of it back. Watching the trees and the stars, inhaling and exhaling. Crying.

Labor Day Lake Trip

2008-09-02T17:26:00.009-05:00

Me, Devin, and Lori went to the lake over Labor Day weekend. There were some sad moments without my husband there. I had never been without him. We did end up having a fab-a-lus time. No stories really, just some pictures.

Lori captivated all. She had Randy's Mom and sister stretching their backs. I had to grab the camera. All three laying on the ground with their legs up on the furniture. Yes, I did join them. Very, very relaxing.

Me, Lori and some of the kids went swimming. I had to crop Lori's ass out of this one or she would have killed me. Don't let the little school teacher persona fool you. She would have killed me!

Again, Lori has the children mesmerized....captivated. She kinda has her eyes closed and an odd expression, but I like this one....heehee. Go ahead and enlarge it...heehee. She will not kill me for this one. She will only rough me up a bit.

I seem to have a bit of a mohawk going on in this pic. I dunno. We are having some fun.

I saved the best for last. I took Molly on a walk. When we return, she always goes straight for the lake to cool off and get a drink. This time I was ready. I whipped out the camera and started filming. At that exact time, the neighbor's guest decided to walk his dog over. I tried to warn him but it was too late.

My dog does love people and small children, but she does not like other female dogs. I'm so sorry!

P.S. Lori's beautiful man was there. I didn't get any pictures of him. Maybe next time.

It has been a month to the day

2008-08-28T09:38:00.009-05:00

This is a video I have of Randy from the Fourth of July trip to the lake. He was getting ready to leave on his bike for home. He had no idea we were filming. This shows his softer side. He loved his little niece.

Do you know what the symptoms of Heart Disease are?

Poor Sleep, low energy, fatigue, exertion, shortness of breath, tightness in the chest, pain in the arms or legs, the feeling of needing a nap.

Randy died on 07/28/08. He went to the doctor complaining of intense leg pain on 07/18/08. He told him how tired he was from working so many hours. He sent him home with a prescription of 500mg Naproxen (Aleve).

I miss him.

Surviving

2008-08-21T09:35:00.006-05:00

This is my new motorcycle. I inherited it from, no other than Big Daddy.

I thought it would be so hard to ride considering the size. It rides like a Cadillac. I can't believe I rode that old rickety Sportster for so long. It is just completely wobbly, uncomfortable and takes 10 minutes to warm up with the carburetor and all. Gotta pull out on the choke. What a pain.

My Big Daddy motorcycle is fuel injected. You turn it on and wait for the fuel light to turn off and start him up. I'm getting a personalized licence plate

BGDA D. When I want to ride Big Daddy, I can. It is and will be very cathartic.

I took Devin for a ride the other day. I was so proud to have him on the back. Me, Big Daddy and my son. I was riding with a grin from ear to ear.

I miss him so much; his touch, his smile, his voice, his smell. I can feel him sometimes, his essence. I'll smell his cigar or just his light and wonderful scent. I see the silhouette of his face in a bright blue light at night when I go to sleep, and feel a fluttering in my heart as his energy passes through me.

BTW. I look bad ass on his bike, or I mean, my Big Daddy bike.

BIG DADDY

2008-08-04T11:24:00.004-05:00

My sweet, I miss you...my beautiful man. I have no regrets. We were perfect for each other. We experienced more in 16 years than most people do in a life time. I love you big daddy. I always will.

Laid-off, house-mouse, pet-peeve blues

2008-07-25T09:05:00.010-05:00

Important Announcement...

Due to budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience. (from a forwarded email)

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?

*When you get laid off from a job you have had twelve years.

*When all potential employers want to pay you $10-$12 an hour.

*When you decide to be nice and take your son's friend home who lives five blocks away and get a ticket for doing a California stop at a four way stop with no other car in sight. ($110.00)

*When you are supposed to be following your husband on his bike to the lake and he is going so fast you are having to do ninety to keep up and you are pulled over. You know you were doing ninety. The cop does me a favor and writes me a ticket for eighty. ($105.00)

*When your old and senile cat wakes you up every morning at around six, meowing so loudly it is like a baby's screaming cry, because he is hungry. He will not stop until you get up and feed him.... I'm going to say this horrible thing, "Go to to light Bogart, go to the light".

*When you are walking across your kitchen floor bare footed and an unknown dirt source gets stuck to the bottom of your foot.

*When you have swept and dust mopped your floor and you see an animal hair ball floating across it.

*When you are vacuuming and the vacuum will not pic up something.

*When you bend down to pick it up and it is a cigar burn from someone who quit smoking cigarettes in March and has picked up the new habit.

*When you are folding t-shirts and the hem at the bottom stays curled up no matter how many times you give it the shake.

*Animal puke. Need I say more?

*When you have scrubbed your bathroom and your husband decides to take a bath (as opposed of using his shower)when he gets home from work (looks like someone dumped mop water in it).

*When a house member pees on the toilet seat or leaves a poop stripe on the back of it.

*When you sit on it.

*When your trash service does not pick up your large amount of recycling and you have to deliver it to a recycling location.

*When you go to the grocery store and are almost finished and realize you forgot something clear on the other side (really a bummer at the Super Walmart).

*When your pump grinder (temporary holding tank for your sewage that grinds it up before releasing it to the sewer), that is maintained by the city, stops working and you have sewage saturating the grass in your backyard.

*When they say they will use a shovel to dig it to fix it and instead use a backhoe that tears up your back yard (happening right now).

*When you switch phone service (you already had cable and Internet with them) because you have been laid off by the other company, and all of services have not been added as a bundle after the change. You have been charged for each service individually for three months and have called into billing countless times and it is still incorrect. You talk about being over charged, try your bill being doubled. (Isn't it ironic, don't ya think?)

*When your "all-in-one" phone, Internet, and cable service has not worked correctly for the last three months and the company keeps trying quick fixes when it is actually a tree down on an outside cable, on someone else's property, causing the problem they are choosing to ignore.

*When that company says it is the owners responsibility to have the tree removed and have no response when you tell them to remove the cable instead, leave the tree, and fix it. Claim it is not their responsibility to notify that said land owner. Still having service issues.

*When you have ordered a pay-per-view movie and it freezes right at the climax of the movie.

*When you are talking on your phone and intermittently, the other party can't hear you but you can hear them. They eventually hang up.

*When you are on you're taking a test on a potential employer's website and you are on question number seventy, your Internet service intermittently, bleeps out and you have to go back in to retake it and hope it doesn't happen again while you are.

*When you have now had 8 technicians come out to fix it and the problem persists.

I'm sure there are many others that I am forgetting. If so, I will come back and add them later.

You know what I love?

*When my blogger friends are coming to visit, go to a rock concert with me, and do that concert kinda dancing thing with me!!! Whoo woo!

There is a light. I think it is intermittent just like all my other services.

*

The Dream Concert - Tribute Bands

2008-07-21T01:56:00.002-05:00

Ok...I now have 36 tickets for the tribute band concert on Saturday, 07/26/08. Come all. Bring your friends. We can meet at my house or maybe before hand at Pizza Hut. We can eat dinner and go. I'm sure the doors open at 6:00pm.

Me - 1 ticket
Lori - 1 ticket
Holly - 1 ticket
Nicki - 4 tickets
Ange - 6 tickets for you
Alan - 2 tickets - Alan, do you need more?
Shep - 1 ticket
Kelscraggs - 1 ticket
Patrick - 2 tickets - Do you need more?

Hmmm, that still leaves us with 17 tickets. Who wants to come to KC and who wants to go to the concert?

Wooo, wooo, Joe Cocker rocks!

2008-07-03T15:22:00.012-05:00

Pam, my sister (Lori's too, of course), went to go see Joe Cocker and The Steve Miller Band last night. Randy got us some sweet tickets, center stage, about 18 rows back. I love that man of mine.

Woooo, wooo....Joe Cocker comes out..."Give me a ticket for an aeroplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train. Lonely days are gone, I'm a going home, my Baby just wrote me a letter." Me, "Pam, it's sprinkling a little". Yes, it started sprinkling the minute Joe came out on stage. Pam and I didn't care. We were standing with our hands in the air, doing the concert-kinda dancing thing. It was great.

It starts raining harder, and harder.....Joe, "You can leave your hat on." Me, "I wished I had a hat. Ah oh Pam, better get out the rain poncho." We are using it like a tarp because we only had one. Rain is dripping off the front of it on our legs and off the back down the back of our pants. It is pouring and we are getting drenched despite our efforts. Fuck it, we are heading down to the stage to see Joe.

Joe, "Unchain my heart, baby let me go." Pam and I doing the concert-kinda dancing thing about three rows back from the stage and in the isle... Little security woman, "Mam can I see your ticket stub? Pam is actually searching her pockets, acting like she can't find it. Whatever, we didn't care, we could take her, we just kept doing the concert-kinda dancing thing. Little security woman, "You are going to have to clear the isle." Me thinking, "Hah, I could kick your ass, so I can't hear you. You are not here. (dance, dance.) " Suddenly Big Security Man rushed in on us, "CLEAR THE ISLES". Me and Pam meekly, "Okay."

Phtt, we have good seats anyway! Pam just wanted to get to the front of the stage so she could throw her bra to Joe. Joe really missed out because of that security guy. He should be fired!

Joe, "You are so beautiful to me." Oh yes, back in the day when we were young and beautiful, we wouldn't have cared about the rain. We would have been dancing and basking in the rain in our jean shorts and wet t-shirts. Now, that we are older and still beautiful, the rain was really suckin'.

Joe, "What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?" Me and Pam, " Wooo, I love this song! To hell with the rain!" We were up dancing, hooting....Back up singers, "Do you need anybody?" At that moment, Joe let out his signature scream and the wind started whipping and sheets of rain began to fall. Joe, "Oh, it's gotta be somebody to love. " By this time the Joe and the band on the covered stage were getting wet as well. ....Thunder, lightning, wind, sheets of rain, our poncho flapping... The song ended and so did the concert for us! After the song, everyone jumped out of their seats and were running for cover. Not me and Pam, we were running for the car. Keep on a rockin' Steve, we gotta go!

Hey, who's coming to Kansas City on the 26th? I have tickets to the "Dream Concert" featuring the tribute bands for Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin and the Doors. Wooo, woo, we could all do that concert-kinda dancing thing together!

Okay, this is what has been delt

2008-05-18T01:39:00.004-05:00

For the last 6-7 years, I've been blessed or completely lucky. I mean I've been incredibly happy. My luck has run out. I'm not blessed anymore.

I was laid off from my job at, let's just call them BAY D & D. I had this job for 12 years. The friends I had there were family. I miss seeing their bright smiling faces every day. Asking advice; giving it. Shoulders to lean and cry on. People to laugh with. We had so much fun while working our asses off. I have done so many different jobs for Bay D & D. Every time I would get used to or comfortable with one, they would move me to another. I kicked ass at my job. I totally had it down. I just knew at any minute they would change my job. Oh FUCK no, they laid me off. I have never felt secure in my job. Always the possibility of a lay off. For once, I felt safe. Our office was so busy there was mandatory overtime and they had suspended vacation. WTF. They announced 31 people were at risk. A job was offered to us in Pittsburgh, PA. I probably should have taken it. I just can't see moving my family all over the country for a job. Hell, they will probably lay off there as well at a later date.

The good thing....I do have six months of severance pay and health insurance. I finally received my first severance check to be received bi-weekly. It was sent out about a week late. I waited and waited for the second. I finally called. " We did not disburse a check for the weeks of 04/06-04/19". No shit, that is why I'm calling. This was a joke. Those bastards trained me to do great customer service, it was drilled into my head. Calling their payroll office was a nightmare. I spoke with three people before one of them could understand that they were supposed to disburse me a severance check. I could not speak directly with payroll, only to some outsourced retards who filled out trouble tickets. I was told I would be contacted in 24-48 hours. One full week and a day, and three trouble tickets later, someone called me back. This person said she would have "them" disburse a check. So, "they" direct deposited a check for $342 less than it was supposed to be.

"They" or "them" disbursed this two week check as a "lump sum" severance payment instead of a bi-weekly severance paycheck resulting in 25% more taxes being taken out; you know, the way our government taxes bonuses. I had the opportunity to take my severance in a lump sum but requested it in bi-weekly checks because this would save me a fortune in taxes.

Another week and another trouble ticket, I was told, tough, there is nothing wrong with the payment I received. I called my old HR manager for assistance and she told me she had spoken with payroll and I had never missed a check that I received all and cashed them as well. She also stated technically I no longer work for Bay D & D and not to call her.

So, what do I do? I called my union, they did not know their ass from a whole in the ground. The only time I've ever needed them; I was not impressed. I guess I will take Bay D & D to small claims court. It really pisses me off because I have wasted two weeks of my life on the phone with people who had no clue how to do their jobs. Now I will have to take them to court. God only knows how long that will take me. I WILL get my money....sons-a-bitches.

I have been billed incorrectly by my cable company, my shrinks office, and Bay D & D has decided to give the government $342 of my money because they forgot to send me a paycheck and when they did they disbursed it incorrectly. I have spent the last two weeks on the phone with billing offices and payroll offices. I'm not getting paid for it though. Oh dear God I hope I was more empathetic and adept than these people when I did customer service.

Whew...got that out. I'm trying to utilize all my insurance while I still have it. I went to get my deviated septum corrected. Right now I have both nostrils packed with sponges and a mustache bandage under my nose. I can not breathe at all through my nose. When I try to drink or swallow, my ears pop. I have drainage in the back of my throat and out my nostrils. With my luck, I'm surprised the doctor did not slip and give me a lobotomy during surgery. I'm on steroids and pain pills. I'm just a joy to be around right now. I want to rip these sponges out of my nose. I'm not sure I will be able to wait until Monday afternoon. I was going to post some pictures, but I did not want to scare anyone.

Thank you God for giving me the most wonderful husband. He has been so understanding and supportive. I guess I'm still blessed where that is concerned. Love you daddy.

I'm baaaack.

Vietnam Memorial Moving Wall

2007-09-20T21:27:00.000-05:00

Randy and I visited the Moving Wall. It is a half-size replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. It was created by three California veterans.

It truly was a "moving" tribute. Randy's cousin, Daniel Case, was on the wall. He was only 19 when he was killed. His tour began Feb. 12th, 1970 and tragically ended Apr. 11th, 1970. Very sad.

We found his name and did a charcoal etching for Randy's mom. The display was impressive. It kind of creeps me out that we were smiling in the pictures, standing in front of 58,178 names of the people that died in Vietnam. Sorry...

We went back the next day and volunteered to help tear it down, pack it up, and escort it out of town. Four of us from the Patriot Guard were there. (I'll post pictures later.)

I was the only woman there, except, of course, the woman that was in charge. I was the "screw girl". Yes, that's me; the screw girl. That's what the old veterans were calling me as I held the can for the screws as we tore down the wall. It was pretty tough for them to keep their composure as they would call out, "Screw Girl", to collect the screws they had for their part of the tear down. I just don't know how they would have done it without the screw girl. Oh, those guys were sooo sweet. Whatever, those Vets are some crazy sombitches; crazy fun. It was very interesting to hear the good stories they had and disturbing to hear the others. I don't think I could survive a battlefield, emotionally or physically. God bless 'em. All in all, we actually had a good time together.

The VFW served us lunch and we got on our bikes and escorted them about 20 miles out of town.

To our Vietnam Vets, the families, and the communities, you have our sincere condolences to all the names on the wall.

If you would like to search the wall for friends and family, you can do it here.
http://thewall-usa.com/

Pictures taken by our local newspaper...
http://communityfaces.kcstar.com/?action=slideshow&id=671&expand=new&s=1&ac=1&ct=1&pc=1&fs=1&stf=1&currentPage=26&play=1#slides

Randy did a little work

2007-09-10T18:50:00.001-05:00

My man did a little work on Lori's Dad's house. She wanted me to post them on blogger. So, here it is.

He weeded the flower beds, mowed, painted the basement, and unfinished trim, power washed the back of the house, and laid the flooring in the bathroom. The biggest accomplishment was power washing the deck. Whew, what a difference. It was a grey-black-green color and looked like it needed to be replaced.... It almost looks brand new!!

Whataya think Lori?

Tip of the day

2007-09-03T21:28:00.001-05:00

2007-09-03T21:16:00.000-05:00

Alaskan Sister

2007-08-15T20:45:00.000-05:00

Back in 1975 my sister (Goldy) and her then live-in boyfriend (now husband, Gold Digger), being the hippies they were, packed up their VW Van, and drove to the last frontier. In Alaska, you could still homestead. When they arrived they did several odd jobs to survive; and indeed, it was survival. They had no where to live. As my sister said, they lived out in the bush.

They plotted out gold mining claims for a large property owner. Living in a tent with a camping stove and dutch oven and supplies they could carry from their van on the long hike. She told me stories of digging out the snow in area large enough to accommodate their tent. The deeper they dug, the warmer they stayed. Fine dining included, black tailed deer , canned vegetables, and fresh baked bread. Goldy said she would mix her dough and sleep with it in her sleeping bag so it would rise and not freeze. Goldy and Gold Digger panned for gold for extra money as well.

My Aunt and Uncle owned small hunting lodge and lived in Alaska for two years. Goldy and Gold Digger grew tired of living in the bush and working for the man. Cold and tired, they trekked out of the bush, back to their hippie van for the long drive back to town. As luck would have it, their love bus broke down. On a remote highway, out in the middle of nowhere, it died. Goldy said it was a miracle. They spotted a truck and waved it down. Can you believe it? It was my Aunt and Uncle. They stayed with the relatives for a couple of days and it was time; time to homestead.

They packed their tent, clothes, and supplies and paid a Cessna pilot to take them to a small island off the coast of Alaska called Montigue Island. They built a log cabin and small barn. Of course, the cabin had no electricity and no running water. There were three other couples living on the island. A community hut was built were the islanders would eat dinner together. All couples took turns cooking. They hung their black tailed deer outside the hut and would lower it to get cuts of meat. A small plane flew in every three days delivering supplies and mail.

They cut tree bulbs and crafted sconces and furniture. They combed the beach with a metal detector to find treasures, and panned for gold so they could afford supplies to live.

As nature has it, Goldy found she was with child. Natural childbirth was the hippie way and Montigue Midas was born. (Yes, this what they named their son.) Montigue was for the island and Midas after the mythical King Midas with the golden touch. Goldy would strap Monty on her back, strap on her 357, and hall water back to her home. She had to protect herself and her baby from the bears. Goldy was and is tough as hell; all 110 lbs of her.

Around two years went by. Goldy and Monty were out in the barn when Monty fell from the loft and broke his collarbone. Poor baby, they would have wait three days before the mail and supply plane would arrive so they could take him to a doctor.

That was it. Goldy insisted they move back to civilization for the safety of her child. Living in Wasilla, Alaska, my sister is no longer a Kansan, but a true Alaskan.

A picture of my Alaskan sister and brother (who lives in Lori's town). I love those guys...

Hair

2007-07-21T22:21:00.001-05:00

Hi all,

I have missed all of you soooo much. I have been working and have had people to see and things to do every weekend.

This weekend I cut my hair and taking it easy. My neice donated her services and I donated my hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths. Pantene Beautiful Lengths was created to support and encourage women who have lost their hair during cancer treatment.

I thought the second picture made my ass look big. Sooo, I tried to suck it up. I then noticed it just looked like I was humping my kitchen counter. Damn it to hell, I just have a big ass.....Becky's gotta a big'o butt, oh yeah....

Ten inches gone. Now, if I could just do the same thing with my arse!

This is for my fellow sistas. Kick cancer's ass girls!

www.locksoflove.com
http://www.pantene.com/en_US/beautifullengths/index_home.jsp

Thinking about my friends

2007-04-30T18:27:00.000-05:00

Cool Graphics at
REVOLUTIONMYSPACE.com

I have been thinking about all of you. I ran across this "Hello Kitty" and thought of Rain. I picture her being sparkley and happy. Hi Rain! How are you? I have been far too busy to blog. Re did much of the house and now we are finding there are many small things we have to do as well. We need to re varnish a large shelf, mirror, and table to match my cherry wood day bed in the extra bedroom. I need to find three new prints to frame for my living room. We definitely need new kitchen and entry way flooring. It doesn't mean I'm not thinking about each and every one of you!!! Miss ya!

A message to all of my blogger friends

2007-04-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

I know I have been very busy. But I love you all. This says it all. Fuck, fuck , fuckity fuck.

XXXXXOOOO, Becky

Why does this post twice? I dunno. Cute huh?

2007-03-30T20:55:00.000-05:00

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The Wizard for James

2007-03-20T23:42:00.000-05:00

Alright, I obviously don't know what I'm doing. Click on the URL below and listen to the song that reminds me of my friend James. I hope it works! For you James!!

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1716752378

Try not to focus on the sexy dancing girls in the back. Just listen to the words. The song is "The Wizard" by Uriah Heep. One of my favorite bands of the seventies. Man this video is dated. It makes me feel oooold.

The words:

He was the wizard of a thousand kings.
And a chance to meet him one night wondering.
He told me tales and he drank my wine.
Me and my magic man kinda feeling fine.
He had a cloak of gold and eyes of fire.
And as he spoke I felt a deep desire to free the world of its fear and pain and help the people to feel free again.
Why don't we listen to the voices in our hearts?Cause then I know we'll find we're not so far apart.
Everybody's got to be happy, everyone should see.
For we know the joy of life and peace that love can bring.
So spoke the wizard in his mountain home.
The vision of his wisdom means we'll never be alone.
And I will dream of my magic night and the million silver stars that guide me with their light.

The Bathroom has been painted!

2007-03-19T20:28:00.000-05:00

I have missed you all so much. I have been so busy with painting, reorganizing and cleaning, I haven't had much time to blog.

In the middle of all of, Lori came to visit. And yes, she helped me with all of it. I painted my bathroom a very bright yellow. There isn't really anything special about my bathroom except for THIS BEAUTIFUL, ORIGINAL MURAL, FINE ARTIST PAINTED ON THE WALL! This is Lori's blank canvas.

This is the finished MASTERPIECE! I LOVE it! I also love my sister very, very much. Thank you Lori. You are the greatest sister and artist in the America....in the world!

Poor Lori. I worked her to death. We finished painting the kitchen and redecorated it as well.

All is well at my home. I'm lovin' the new look. I'll post pictures of my kitchen next. We still have the downstairs rec-room to go, and it is a wreck, but it will not be for long. Oh, did I tell you Lori is the greatest sister and artist in the world?!!!!

Slow progress painting the house

2007-02-11T13:26:00.000-06:00

Progress is slow painting only when you have the time. In this case, it is a process, not an event.

The first two pictures are of Devin's room. He chose the lovely color (???) of white duck. He worked so hard on it, the only thing he will hang on the walls is his tapestry and his Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calender.

The third room is my living room, painted utterly tan with a second darker color to make the fireplace pop. We also painted the mantel. We didn't want to but paint dripped all over it. I personally think it looks better than what it did.

The fourth picture is my dining room. It and the kitchen will be a very pale blue. It has not been painted yet. I just thought I would share it because Snowball looked so cute trying to help with the preparation. If I absolutely love the color blue. It is a good thing there are other opinions to consider. I would truly get carried away and paint the entire house different shades of blue. I find it calming.

The fifth picture is our extra bedroom, painted a color we created from some oops paint mixed with white. It is tan as well with a bit more of a gold hue in comparison to the living room.

I can't wait until it is complete. We will lay ceramic tile in the entry way and possibly in the kitchen next. Maybe we will do laminent in the kitchen. I will have to wait and see how easy or difficult laminent is to lay from Shell and Ron.... But that will be another long drawn out project. I haven't visited the blogisphere as often as I had been. I have been spending most of my spare time painting.

Chou think your bad?

2007-01-25T19:43:00.000-06:00

Way back when, I lived in Phoenix (Glendale), AZ. I had been there about a week. My friend Chris and I decided to go for a ride. Chris and I were new to Phoenix and had no idea about the Glendale element. Chris had a beautiful blue Harley Davidson Panhead chopper. It was a bad ass bike. It was all chrome, springer front end, hard tail, pulled back ape hanger handle bars, with a tall sissy bar. It was your classic, old school chopper.

We stopped a QT to get some ciggies. A low rider Chevy pulls in. The young man in the car was glaring at us. He was looking all gang banger with his blue bandanna-doo rag on his head.
He got out of his car and walked towards us. He was wanting a fight. He approached us and asked in a very strong Chicano street accent, “Sooo, chou think your pretty bad on your on harleydavisonmotorcycle, DON'T chou?

Chris and I turned and looked at each other and just started laughing our a$$e$ off. I don't know if it was the accent, the way the guy carried himself, or what. It was just funny. Hell, it was hilarious. The guy gave us a very confused look and just walked away with his tail between his legs, got in his car, and left. Chris and I were still laughing as he pulled out.

Right after I moved to Phoenix

2007-01-13T20:11:00.000-06:00

Oh, the Phoenix night life... We were new to Arizona. One night, my buddy Chris and I went out to have a beer. We arrived at this little dive and headed in. We ordered a pitcher and began watching the people. The clientele were mainly bikers. They would enter, their long hair, braids, beards, leathers, and guns. Yes, guns. At the front door was a gun rack. You see, it is legal in Arizona to carry a gun as long as it's not concealed. They would check their guns and sit down, order, and party.

I was sitting at our table thinking, "Hmmm, if I'm going to live here, am I going to need one of those?" So's anyways, I'm drinking, watching, and realizing how much crazier the bikers are in Arizona than Kansas. Drinking beer...I had to pee. "Chris, I'll be right back."

I go in the bathroom, lock the door, and I'm doing my business. Suddenly, I hear chairs and tables being overturned out in the bar and what sounded like a man grunting and growling. Alarmed, I'm thinking, "What in the hell is going on out there?" Suddenly and abruptly, the bathroom door is kicked open. A large, scraggly, bearded, dark haired man, rushes into the bathroom. There I am, sitting there in shock with my pants around my ankles. He comes right up to me, bends over and nose to nose he growls, "You're lucky you're not her." His nose was touching mine, while I was peeing! I would have peed my panties if I didn't already have them pulled down. I said, "Er um, yea". With that, he exited the bathroom and then the bar.

I came out of the bathroom a little shaken. The bar tender was out picking up the chairs and tables. Most everyone was standing up except those at the bar. Many were acting as if it was nothing and most of them were laughing...Well except for Chris. As I was coming out of the bathroom he was running back to me. "It all happened so fast. Are you alright?", he asked. I said, "You know what that guy did?" Of course, I told him, "I was peeing...nose to nose...he said... yadda, yadda, yadda" ... He was trying to keep a straight face, and then we just busted out laughing. I mean, come on, he didn't hurt me. I didn't feel victimized. It was just extraordinarily odd and extremely uncomfortable. What do you do when you feel weird and uncomfortable? Well, I'll tell you. You laugh.

We finished our pitcher and left.

Yours, mine, and ours, and, and....

2007-01-09T20:33:00.000-06:00

The Family Dynasty for Jo

Ruth Elvira and Otto Laverne – birthed Grandma Martha who married Grandpa Isaac

Martha Lucille and Isaac Henry – birthed Mom Sharon

Sharon and 1st husband Charles – birthed Pam
Sharon and 2nd husband Dutch – birthed Bill
Sharon and boyfriend Michael – birthed Lori

My dad Jim and 1st wife Verna – birthed Mike and Marian - Verna died after giving birth to Marian

Sharon and 3rd husband (my dad) Jim – birthed Becky, Crystal, Tom, and adopted Judy

Sharon and 4th husband Larry – birthed Brian
Sharon and 5th common-law husband Dick - thank God, no children
Sharon and 6th husband Ted – birthed Kelly
Sharon and 7th husband JD – thank God to old to have children
Sharon and 8th common-law husband Duffy- thank God to old to have children

All brothers and sisters: Mike, Marian, Judy, Pam, Bill, Lori, Becky, Crystal, Tom, Brian, and Kelly.

I know this leaves you begging for a story....Oh, no, I don't want to go there. So, I'm referring you to a post Lori wrote back on 07/28/05. One thing Lori left out is our adopted sister Judy. Jim and Sharon adopted her when she was 15. Judy's mother committed suicide and she had no where to go. She was Marian's friend and Mom and dad legally adopted her so she would not be sent to a foster home. She lived with us until she was married at 17. The second thing she left out was Mom's drunk common-law husband Duffy (yes, he was the last one).

Click on the link below for the sorted story.

http://fineartist.blogspot.com/2005/07/m-is-for-mother.html

Christmas Morning

2006-12-30T22:33:00.000-06:00

I am sooo happy Christmas is over. I'll be even happier when this year is over.

I was so bah humbug this Christmas, I put off buying stocking stuffers until Christmas Eve day. Well....We had some unexpected company that day. I didn't get to the store until 6:00PM. Everything was closed. Can you believe it? This had never happened to me before. I've always gotten great stocking stuffers. Damn it to hell, what was a poor girl to do?

So, a little light bulb came on in my head and I borrowed an idea from Pickles. (Yes, writer mom's Pickles.) http://writermotherwifeme.blogspot.com/2006/12/elves-and-not-orlando-bloom-kind.html
I went through the kitchen and gathered macaroni and cheese, instant oatmeal, Carnation Instant Breakfast, some cookies, and coffee pods and stuffed all of our stockings. You should have seen the look on Devin's face when he pulled out a box of macaroni and cheese out of his stocking. We all laughed our a$$e$ off.

The animals had better stocking stuffers than us.

I added this picture of my favorite gift this year. Devin made it for me in shop class. It is a paper towell and napkin holder. We had a nice Christmas. I hope all of you did as well.

Thanks for the idea Pickles!

Back to work

2006-12-12T22:29:00.000-06:00

Sorry for not posting...I've started back to work last Monday and am having problems with readjusting my time management skills.

I went back to work and it is just as if I never left. I was proud of myself. I remembered everyone's names and how to do my job! Whoo woo. I missed all of my co-workers so much. Today, my employer celebrated my 10th year anniversary with the company with a dessert bar for all. They printed up a nice little pamphlet with all of the news worthy events, popular TV series, movies, and music from 1996. It was cute. All employees came and congratulated me and enjoyed cheese cake and strawberry shortcake. It was nice to see all of them. I was allowed 1 ½ hours free from my responsibilities to enjoy.

I'm still in the process of catching up with all of the company's upcoming changes and all workplace gossip. Let's see... Starting in January we are going to get paid bi-weekly. Our co-pays on our insurance for all doctor appointments are going from $10 to $20. Our prescription co-pays will double as well. We are moving to a new location in February. And...many, many more. When we move, I'll be working in the same building as my sister Judy. I can't wait. We have a gym there and Judy and I will be doing an aerobics class twice a week. It will be absolutely wonderful working with her again.

I'll post again when I have more time. In the meantime, hugs and Happy Holidays to all!

My Road to a Happy Hysterectomy

2006-12-03T12:04:00.000-06:00

See my newest post at the Grumpy Old Bitches website.

http://g-o-b-shite.blogspot.com/

I've been busy

2006-11-22T18:51:00.000-06:00

Thursday the 16th, I went to the dentist to get my permanent caps; my canine, the tooth behind it, and the tooth behind that one. Ya know, after I got rid of utie and the girls, I've been a little moody. It's kinda like my sensor is broken. Normally, we sensor our thoughts before spewing them out. So anyways... The dentist put in my new crowns and asked me what I thought. I spewed, "They look like like crap." (A few months back I would have said, "Ya know, I'm not happy with these, can we modify them somehow?") The dentist then pulled out a tongue depressor and started showing me how even and perfect they were. I look again, my canine crown was huge and was kind of crooked and lapped over the front tooth, I spewed again. "I don't like them. I have to look at this crap every day for the rest of my life. I liked the temporary crowns. They looked great. "He again explains how perfect they are. I said, "Fine just leave them in then. "The dentist said, "Okay, we'll take the crap out of there then. I'll send them back and match them to your temporaries. Now, I'm going to go see the woman in the room next to you. She's nice!" (Truly, he said all of this in a joking manner and I did apologize for my lack of filtering abilities.)

He had me set an appointment for the next day at noon.....They did a rush job and and my crowns back the next morning. They called me at 9:00AM on Friday the 17th, and asked if I could come in. I'll tell ya, I was there in a flash. There was another woman in the waiting room when I arrived. I'm pretty sure I took her appointment time. The dentist came out and explained to the woman that I was mean, and he would have to see me first.....
Damned skippy I'm mean, but I have some nice lookin' teeth!

I then went to help Randy's family clean an apartment that some crack heads finally moved out of. The place was trashed! This is not the first time doing this in the apartment building Randy's sister insisted the company purchase because it was a good investment... Usually when we clean and paint we start at about 9-10 in the morning. My sister-in-law always comes strolling in around 1-2 in the afternoon. It never fails. So, she did her usual... "Okay, I'm here, what do you want me to do? "My sensor being broken and all, I spew, "Where have you been? We're almost finished now. "Defensively, she claims she has been doing paperwork all morning. Now, I know for a fact she doesn't get out of bed before 11 or 12. Randy then pulls her into the other room and apologizes for me and explains to her how it's just my hormones talking...like I can't hear him... I spewed, "I'm just being honest. "He then comes to me and whispers, "Be nice." Whatever! All of his family had been dogging her all morning before she got there. They always complain about how she does not pull her weight and spends way too much money on supposed business expences. None of them have the cahonies to say a word. Wussies, I get so tired of walking on egg shells around Miss sensitive/selfish. Hell, somebody needs to tell her. I usually don't say anything about the family business because I don't feel it's my place to. After working my ass off all day, I felt I had the right. The last few days, my father-in-law has been calling her on her bullsh*t. Yeah!!!! Hopefully it has been caught in time before the business is bankrupt.

Damned skippy I'm mean, but I speak the truth.

Saturday the 18th...My friend and I went to a Soldiers' Angels meeting and packed 650 gift bags for soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan filled with candy, apple cider, hot chocolate, chap stick, instant oatmeal, and mugs....I then went out of town to take care of my younger sister because she had a hysterectomy. I'll tell that story at another time.

My Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is really helping. However, I think we may have to tweak it a bit. I go in on the 29th to determine how we will do that. My panic attacks, hot flashes, night sweats, migraines, and all the other symptoms have been reduced. We will definitely be working on the irratability. I have been keeping a daily log and will post my results for women who are seeking FREE info about my personal experience with a hysterectomy and HRT. I will offer no advise, just my experience.

In between all the doctor's appointments and other things, this mean ol' girl has been busy.

Toys for Tots Motorcycle Run

2006-11-05T15:14:00.000-06:00

My man and I went on a motorcycle run today; Toys for Tots. It was great to get out for a good cause. The sun was shining. It was a perfect clear, crisp 55 degree day. It felt good to get the wind in my hair and my knees in the breeze.

The mission of the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Program is to collect new, unwrapped toys during October, November and December each year, and distribute those toys as Christmas gifts to needy children in the community in which the campaign is conducted. http://www.toysfortots.org/about_toys_for_tots/toys_for_tots_program/default.asp

We had a police escort which completely shut down a highway for a ten mile ride. We left the Harley Shop and ended up at The Woodlands Horse and Dog Race Track. On the way, there were people standing on the side of the highway waving. I waved back with my biker-princess wave. (I cuss to much to be any other kind of princess.) When we got there, we gave our toys to the nice Marines who loaded 'em in a truck for all of the boys and girls.

There was probably about 300 bikes and about 50 hot rod and classic cars as well. I even ran into the motorcycle cop who taught my motorcycle safety class. What a sweetie, he let me take his picture. In class he wasn't as sweet, he was more like a drill sergeant. I guess he needed to be. What he taught me was invaluable.

We ate some chili, had a coke and went home. A good time was had by all.

The Third in the Series of Hauntings

2006-10-31T22:55:00.000-06:00

This is dedicated to my Sassy...BOO HA HA

All the small occurrences kept happening; at that point, scary yes, but not terrifying. Everyone in the house had witnessed these occurrences except for my step dad Pops. He thought we were all crazy. He even thought it was funny. So, Mr. Funny decides he is going to scare the hell out of us. As you may have heard, Mom and Pops had dabbled in the witchcraft. Pops finds a book on witchcraft and a tape recorder. He picks some scary incantation out of the book and records it. He then leaves to work at the bar that evening and calls us. "Hey, I've taped something on the recorder I want you to hear," he says laughing. Tommy and Brian, tucked away in bed, me, Mom, and Crystal were awake. We didn't know, so we played the tape. Over the recorder, the incantation started. In a low pitched, methodical voice, Pops' voice was heard. I don't even remember what he recited. I don't even think it was in English. All that I remember was hearing the word "Beelzebub (devil)" mentioned two or three times. Oh yes, it scared us. A chill came over all three of us. All of us looked at each other in dismay and couldn't believe he did this. I thought it was sick and twisted. To this day, I feel this opened some door and invited God only knows what kind of evil into our home.

We all went to bed and all was quiet. Then, Pops came home after the bar closed. He was in his bedroom getting ready for bed when all hell broke loose. It woke us all from a sound sleep. All paranormal activity was taking place on the second floor. I woke up to the shutters on the windows rattling and banging loudly. It sounded like bowling balls were being rolled across the floor. When you looked out the windows on the second floor, it was raining and storming outside. The noises were deafening and violent. We all came out of our rooms terrified. Pops? What was he doing? He came jaunting out of his bedroom in his underwear waving his 357 around trying to find something to aim at and shoot. I remember Mom asking him, "What in the hell are you going to do, kill it?" We all went downstairs. It was the strangest thing, it wasn't storming outside on the first floor. The night was calm....back upstairs, storming....down stairs, calm. Quite frankly, I do not recall how the night ended or when everything quieted. I think we all ended up sleeping in the same room.

The time line of when things happened is fuzzy from here...Maybe two days later, we were all going out to dinner. We were in the first floor living room waiting to leave. Pops came walking out of the first floor bathroom in his green leisure suit. He didn't make eye contact or even speak to any of us. He just walked to the front door, opened it, and walked out. We all looked at each other oddly and Mom said, "Okay, I guess we're leaving." We got up and followed. Out the front door we went. We looked around and no one was there. Where did he go? He was nowhere to be found outside. Suddenly, we heard something inside and it was Pops coming down the stairs. "Are you guys ready to go?"......What do you do? How do you react? All of us afraid in our own home, of what? What was it? How did it do that? Why did it do that?

Crystal and I slept with Tommy in his room after that. All of the bedroom doors on the second floor were louvered doors. You could hear everything going on out in the house. Nothing ever happened in the bedrooms. We never saw any apparitions after the first sighting Crystal and I had witnessed. Everything after was noises, moving objects, sensations of cold, and a sense of the presence of evil. I can remember going to bed at night scared to death. We would close the bedroom door and it would start. You would hear the attic door open, foot steps coming down the stairs and then horrible noises. Books being thrown from the book case, the sounds of bowling balls going across the floor, shutters rattling. You would work up the courage to open the bedroom door and look out, and everything would be perfectly in its place.

Maybe a few more days went by and Crystal and I devised a plan of escape. I called the bus station, found out how much the tickets were back to Kansas City. We stole the exact amount out of Pops' billfold and moved in with our Dad. We just could not deal with the uncertainty of our life, sanity, and safety in that house.

There will be one more story after this one that will be based on the story my Mother tells of what happened before they finally moved. I did not witness any of it. Things escalated beyond belief. Until then.....Happy Halloween.

The I'm falling apart rant

2006-10-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

The other day, I'm eating one of my favorite snacks; pickles and cream cheese wrapped in ham. Mmmm. Suddenly, I bite into something extremely crunchy. Mmmm, no not really. I think, “Oh gross, what in the flippin hell was in the ham?” I realize, it is my tooth. Not the tooth behind my canine, but the next one. Sh*t!

I call my dentist's office. I talk to John, my wonderful gay friend receptionist there, I love him, and he sets me up an emergency appointment. I go in to find I need a root canal and crown. Not only that, but my canine is dying and I need a root canal and crown for it as well. Wait, that's not all. I have two molars that are cracked and need crowns for those before they need root canals. Ahhh, the cost, $2,300. I immediately start complaining about the amount of money I'm going to have to shit. My dentist informs me, “I need some bling bling for my thing thing, homie. And you're about to help me out.” Yeh, I know, he's kinda funny, but I will not be able to get any bling bling for myself for a long time. But wait, that's not all.

I guess I'm going to HAVE get some bling bling after all. The next day, I glance down at my wedding band in admiration, you know, like we girls do from time to time, and realize I'm missing a diamond! I drop the “F” bomb. My symbol of love for my husband looks like shit. I looked everywhere. Could not find the diamond. Hmmm, decisions, decisions....Should I go without toofers or the diamond from my wedding band?

D*mn it, I will not go without either! Lets see...which credit card can I use? Okay, another $370.

But wait....not only do you receive two root canals, four crowns, and a new diamond for your ring...I get up this morning and I'm freezing my tataas off. It's 60 degrees in my house. The furnace is just blowing air. Thank Jod! My 25 year old heater only needed a thermo coupling.

Tooth repair, $2300, ring repair, $370, thermo coupling, $5.99, paid for with cash; priceless!

Needless to say, I will be able to keep my toofers, my wedding band, and my tataas. We may not have a Christmas, but with these repairs, I will be happy, and I'll have the peace of mind that my husband will not trade me in on a newer model.

The 2nd in the series - The little freaky things

2006-10-14T16:14:00.000-05:00

Four different occurrences...

Mom, Crystal, and I got back from the grocery store. Mom's friend was at the house baby sitting Brian. Crystal and I never told anyone about the ghost. Mom felt compelled to tell everyone. As we were putting the groceries away, Mom started telling her friend (can't even remember her name) all about our ghost. The woman replied by saying she hadn't seen anything. Just then, the diapers levitated off the table and sailed about two feet over and fell to the floor. The woman was speechless and considered the possibility....

My mother has a step brother Russell. Two of his sons were over visiting. They were about me and Crystal's age. Of course, Mom starts telling them all about the ghost. Crystal and I was so embarrassed. They thought it was the biggest line of bullsh*t they had ever heard. They were soo tough, they weren't scared. Regardless, Crystal, me, and my step cousins, went up to the third floor to sneak a smoke. We opened the two windows on the east side of the room to let the smoke out. One of my step cousins said, "If there is a ghost, why doesn't he show himself?" Right then, simultaneously, both windows SLAMMED shut! You should have seen those boys run for their lives. I have to say, it was the only time the ghost made Crystal and I laugh.

One of Mom's friends, Donna came over to store her kids Christmas presents at our house. It seemed the place where the ghost resided, was in the attic room that Crystal and I used for a closet. Where did Mom tell her to put the items? Hmmm. Crystal and I helped her carry all of the presents up to the third floor. We were approaching the attic door... the handle on the door turned and the door opened wide. Donna dropped all the presents and yelled, "Beat feet!" We all ran down the stairs.

I was in the 2nd story bathroom getting ready for a date. The rest of the family were downstairs watching television. I was bent over with my hair flung over my head blow drying my hair. Do you remember those old pointy toed tennis shoes from the fifties? They were Keds with a pointed toe... No one in the house even owned a pair shoes like this... So, I'm blow drying away and an old, white, dirty, point toed tennis shoe somehow was tossed into the bathroom and hit me in the back of leg. It didn't hit me hard, but it hit me. I knew it had to be Pops. He didn't even believe any of us about the ghost. So he would mess with us from time to time. I came out of the bathroom. "Pops? I know you're up here. Where are you?" I looked every where including the bedrooms. No one was there. I went downstairs and everyone was watching TV. Pops came walking out of the 1st floor bathroom. I can remember thinking, WTF? How weird.

I'll tell some scarier stories later when I feel more creative, my hormone treatment therapy has had a few scary side effects. Hmmm, let's see... fatigue, insomnia, fuzzy thinking ( I can't remember words), a horrendous craving for sweets, migraines 3-4 times a week, night sweats, hot flashes, panic attacks, and last but not least, the runs. These are actually all symptoms of menopause. Yeah!!

I know, I know, too, too much information! I've called a hormone specialist, I'm waiting on a call back. We'll see...

The First In a Series of Hauntings

2006-10-08T13:23:00.000-05:00

We had been in the house for maybe a week; no occurrences at this point...The school year was starting in St. Joe. It was the night before the first day of school, Crystal starting a new junior high and me at a new high school. We were excited to a certain degree, but mostly concerned about establishing new friends. This would be difficult because we had lived in the same neighborhood all our lives. We couldn't sleep. Mom, the baby (Brian), and Tommy were fast asleep. Pops was running the bar that night and would not be home until after closing.

Crystal and I, in our beds discussing the first day of school, were not able to sleep. Oh, did I mention our dog, Smokey? We had a black Labrador, a wonderful dog and my companion. Smokey would always sleep right next to my bed. Crystal had a small bedside lamp on. In an attempt to get to sleep, I asked Crystal to turn off the lamp; maybe this would help us. Crystal did not want to turn it off. Me, being the typical supportive older sister I was, called her a sissy. Crystal had already seen whatever it was. She was the first to witness the apparition. She knew better than tell me, I would have never believed her. She turned off the lamp. Crystal finally fell asleep. It was just me and Smokey.

I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I was thinking, "If I could just get a cigarette from Pops, (who knew I smoked), it may help me sleep." Suddenly, I hear the car. Through my window, I saw the car lights, the car pull in, and Pops exiting it, heading to the back kitchen door. "Oh, thank God, a cigarette." Right about then, I started feeling a strange freaky feeling of apprehension. So I grabbed Smokey and made her go downstairs with me. This was unusual because I had to make her. She was never afraid on anything. She was making that little whistle through her nose, you know, a quiet whine. We forged ahead anyway. "Hmmm, where's Pops? I saw him entering the house?" I opened the back door, looked out, and there was no one there. WTF? NO Pops, NO car...I was shaken, confused, and a bit freaked out. I went back up to my bed.

At this point, I was scared. I laid down, closing my eyes. "Ahh, I can't sleep," I thought to myself, and opened my eyes. There, standing over me, a man or something!! He was there leaning over my bed, only about two feet away from my face. He almost looked like a Roman statue. He was wearing toga like apparel that draped his thin structure. His skin tone, very gray, he was bald, had a hook nose, and the saddest, big brown eyes I've ever seen. I could sense heartbreak or pain, ya know? He was gazing at me with a look as if I was his long lost daughter. (Now that I look back, he was probably thinking, mmm, a young girl to f**k with. Booo hahaha.) I closed my eyes, shook my head, opened them again, he was there. Closed my eyes, shook my head, opened them, he was STILL there. Again, STILL there. Closed my eyes, one more time. I was confused, scared to death, and questioning my sanity. I opened my eyes, and he was gone.

Immediately, I turned on the bedside lamp, shook the sh*t out of Crystal, and and started stammering and babbling what I had witnessed. She then admitted she had seen the same man by the balcony near the stairs. Simultaneously, we sprang from our beds, ran down to my Mom's room, and jumped in bed with her. Abruptly, Mom awoke wondering WTF her 12 and 15 year old girls were doing in her bed like small children. We spat out our stories with her looking at us as if we were crazy, while trying to sooth us at the same time. Shivering and shaken, we both snuggled up to her and finally was able to sleep.

I'm sure Mom was thinking it may have been a nightmare. But was it? How could we both have had a nightmare about the same man, thing, or whatever? There would be several more, except the following incidents would include the other family members as well.

My Haunted Experience

2006-10-06T15:43:00.000-05:00

The Haunted House

I was fifteen. Mom and Grandma decided to become partners in a business. The bar business that is. Bluetown Tavern in St. Joseph. MO. Mike, Marian, Judy, Pam, Bill, and Lori, were already living on their own. My Mom, Pops (step dad), Crystal 12, Tommy 9, Brian (newborn), and myself, moved to the small city of St. Joe. Mom purchased a beautiful old three story Victorian home. I'm only guessing, but it must have been built around 1920 or before. The house was empty and ready to move in to. She got a great deal as far as real estate goes.

The house...It was painted a deep red with black trim, had a wrap around front porch, and a second story balcony. The house by my standards was huge. The 1st floor had a formal living room with fireplace, a formal dining room with a crystal chandelier and a bay window from floor to ceiling. The kitchen was large but warm and inviting, complete with a walk-in pantry and servants quarters. From the dining area was a bathroom and the basement. The basement door was located under the stairs to the 2nd floor. When going down the stairs into the basement, it was sooo dark and musty. It was scary as hell. I made it all the way down the stairs to the dirt floor only once. I never went all the way in. It was cold, dank, and it felt horribly eerie. A sense of dread, my gut wrenching intuition forced me to run up the stairs as fast as I could. It makes me shiver just thinking about it... The 2nd floor had a comfortable family room, shutters on all of the windows, three bedrooms, and another bathroom. If you looked up from the 2nd floor, the ceiling reached all the way to 3rd floor with another chandelier hanging. Up the stairs to the 3rd floor, a Victorian banister that went up and around and served as a railing to guard you from falling back down to the 2nd floor. You could look down on the family room. The 3rd floor room spaciously wrapped around the railing, with two tall windows to the left, one window at the top of the stairs on the right, and straight ahead, a door to the attic.

Mom, Pops, Tommy, and Brian slept on the 2nd floor. Crystal and I chose the third floor as our bedroom. We set up our two single beds under the two windows that looked out on an alleyway that lead to the driveway. From our driveway, you could enter the house through the kitchen door. The attic room served as our very large closet with three windows that looked out on the front lawn.

So many unexplainable occurrences took place in that house, I hardly know where to start. They were the most bazaar things that have ever happened in my life and quite frankly, something I don't like to remember, or talk about. Believe me, I've had a lot of bazaar things happen to me in life. However, never so bone chilling. Yes, I'm speaking of the supernatural, paranormal, apparitions, noises, sensations of cold, objects moving, and a sense of the presence of evil.

Crystal and I made it two weeks in St. Joe. We stole enough money for bus tickets back home and moved in with our Dad. The rest of my family made it 6 months before moving. None of the neighbors had ever spoke until the day my family was moving. The neighbor told my Mom she lived there longer than most.

Moving in with Dad?... another mucked up story....Or, would you rather hear the ghost stories?

It's all about me right now

2006-09-27T09:28:00.000-05:00

Received a call last week from my little sister Crystal. She can't concentrate on anything but Crystal right now. She has been talking about how she wants HOT pictures of herself on her motorcycle for some time now. She is recently divorced and loving herself again. She has lost all of her marriage weight and is looking good.

Crystal---"Hi Becky, I'm so excited. I got my pictures taken professionally with my bike. I look sooo hot. I had the photographer put them on a disc for me. I'm over at Chris's now and he is uploading them to send to you. You can pick out the one you like and I will give it to you for Christmas."

Me ---- "Hi. BTW, I'm doing fine. "

Crystal -- "Oh yeh, You're doing alright, huh? I want you to send these pictures to Lori so she can paint my picture."

Me --- "Crystal, Lori has been, and is a little busy. Her Dad has been ill, she has been driving up here every weekend to see him and take care of some of his business. And with Rachie and all plus all her other projects, she is pretty overwhelmed."

Crystal --- "Oh, How's Rachie doing? Is she alright? Has Lori found out anything?"

Me thinking ---"Well, I guess it's not all about her with Rachie. She is genuinenly concerned"

Me --- "Rachie is doing better. But Lori is still waiting to find out more."

Crystal --- "I'm praying for her....Anyway, Lori can get to it when she has time. I want her to paint the picture of me riding down the road with Angels around me. Did you get them yet? Are you at your computer?"

Me --- "No, not yet."

Crystal --- "How about now? Chris, are you sure you sent them to the right email address? "

Chris --- "Crystal, there are 12 proofs. It may take a while."

Crystal --- "How about now? Did you get them? Well, call me when you get them."

Our Crystal is not always so tunnel visioned. If anyone is causing you pain in your life and you let her know...She will hunt them down and kick their ass! Oh, yes, Crystal can kick some serious ass. She is a tough little momma and is protective as hell. DON'T mess with HER family!!! I'm scared to death to tell her about the crazy lady that Lori is trying to get out of her Dad's house. Believe me, she would go over and drag that woman out kicking and screaming by the hair.

When we were younger, I never got into any fights. Yes, my LITTLE sister would get her crazy on and whup some ass or make it perfectly clear she would. All, would back off scared as hell.

I would do the same for her. Crystal and I have bond no one can break. We have been through hell together and survived, back to back, fighting, fending off all the evil that came to us when we were children and well into early adulthood. We graduated with honors from the school of hard knocks and are now strong, independent women that can handle almost any boulders or road blocks that get in our way...ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough.....

I love you Crissy... And sista, you DO look hot! Ride that motorcycle with your Angels above and around. Don't let anything get in your way. If they do, I GOT your back.

Flowers & Vortexes

2006-09-21T00:47:00.000-05:00

I ordered a little artsy magazine called Flowers & Vortexes. I was inclined to do so because Lori turned me on to a fellow blogger's website. The Endless Saga. Welcome to a world of poetry, creative nonfiction, and occasional fiction as told by James Eric Watkins. http://endlesssaga.blogspot.com// I checked it out and found some the most mesmerizing poetry I've ever read. I haven't really been into poetry since college. I have discovered a renewed interest in it. So, I ask James, via his blog, if he has been published. He directed me to a website where I purchased the magazine. It was awesome. A collection of poetry and photography. Erin Monahan http://poetic-acceptance.blogspot.com/ even had a poem published in the magazine.

I can't sleep tonight, so I turn to one of my only forms of entertainment; the computer. I revisited the website, Promise of Light Publications http://www.promiseoflight.org/flowersvortexes.htm. There were options to click on located on the right side of the page. Once again, I was entertained. I clicked on the options, “Fluent” and "Below Morning's Edge” to find audio poems by Erin. Erin happens to be the co-editor. There were audio poems by James, the creator and editor, and others. It put me in a mindset of a beatnik coffee shop listening to artists reciting their poetry... Well, minus the coffee and bongo drums. It was very cool. They even have merchandise with the designs created by Erin. The stuff was really groovy.

You guys have to check it out.

Sos anyways...I've been entertained for the night. I think if I lay my head down, I'll be able to sleep now. Good night.

Me me me me - My things list

2006-09-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

Zilla tagged me. Sorry it took so long Z. Here goes...

1. Things that scare me

*public speaking (my biggest fear)
*heights
*falling down stairs
*spiders
*snakes
*walking around with a booger hanging out my nose
*walking around with something stuck in my teeth
*toilet paper stuck to my shoe

2.People who make me laugh

*Lori
*Holly
*My son
*My husband
*My friends at work
*Oh hell, I laugh all the time, it gets me through

3.Things I hate the most

*Mean people
*bigots
*bitchy people who take it out on others (mean people)
*rules that are stupid
*pee on a toilet seat
*doing dishes
*dusting

4.Things I don't understand

*Suicide
*mean people
*religious fanatics
*murder
*people who do the same stupid things over and over expecting different results and whining about it
*people with pointless agendas
*the stock market

5.Things I'm doing right now

*Typing
*smoking
*drinking a coke
*thinking about taking a pain pill
*wondering what the hell to write

6.Things I want to do before I die

*Have a grand baby
*Go to Europe
*win the lottery
*retire
*lose 30 pounds
*quit smoking
*exercise regularly
*learn how to belly dance

7. Things I can do

*Ride a motorcycle
*talk to the animals
*raise hell
*have fun
*multi task
*pop my hips in and out of joint
*love and laugh
*I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan

8.Ways to describe my personality

*Over bearing
*anal
*obsessive
*bitchy
*frickin' sweet and don't you forget it!
*Loving
*bleeding heart liberal
*fun
* a little crazy

9.Things I can't do

*Change the oil in my car
*sing
*lie
*keep my mouth shut
*crafts

10.Things I think you should listen to

*A storm
*your kids
*all laughter
*jokes
*stories
*advice (take it or leave it)
*Rock
*The Blues

11.Things you should never listen to

*Country music
*drunks
*drug addicts asking for money
*Rush Limbaugh (spelling?)
*Religious fanatics
*Jehovah's Witnesses

12.Things I'd like to learn

*knitting
*landscaping
*how to back a trailer
*patience
*belly dancing
*the stock market

13.Favorite foods

*All vegetables except hominy
*Chinese
*Mexican

14.Beverages I drink regularly

*Water
*Coke
*Coffee
*Vodka and cranberry juice (maybe once a week)

15.Shows I watched as a kid

*Dark Shadows
*The Sixth Sense
*Scooby Doo (love Scooby, he makes me smile)
*Gilligan's Island
*The Munsters
*The Partridge Family
*The Brady Bunch
*All in the Family

On a scale of 1 to 10, was this mildly entertaining?

I tag, Ariel, Pearl, and Kelley Bell

No work until October 17th, rest, relaxation, and recuperation

2006-09-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

I had surgery 09/05/06 to have Utie and the girls removed. Before I went under the knife, Randy and I and our friends, Doug and Leann rode our bikes down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas. It was a beautiful ride. There were rolling hills, hollers, forests, rivers, lakes, treacherous roads, curves, and the best shopping ever. Utie and the girls never did me any good anyway, but I took them out for their last ride and adventure anyhow.

While Leann and I were shopping, we really bonded. We got henna tattoos together in the park from a local artist. Leann got a tribal design and I got a cheesy sailor tattoo of a heart with a ribbon that read Randy. I also got a corset. (You know I got lucky that night with the tattoo and corset and all.) The tattoo was supposed to last for a week. It only lasted three days from all the hot tubbing. Oh yes, we had a hot tub in our room. It was very romantic. (Watch out, I'm on drugs and giving waaay too much info.)

We rode through some of the most remote areas, Beaver Lake and Hobb's Wildlife Reserve. We even went to an old working flour mill, built in 1838 (War Eagle Mill) that is powered by the War Eagle River. It had a huge water wheel that powered the large stone grinding wheels.

Downtown Eureka Springs was built in the late 1800s. There are shops, restaurants, artists and musicians on the street corners. Very artsy fartsy. The homes and buildings were beautiful.

The only bummer of our trip is we received tickets outside of town for excessive noise. Some redneck-bastard cop said our pipes were too loud. We just got into town. Randy, Leann and I went to the hotel and waited for Doug. He got stuck behind traffic. We waited about 5 minutes. Randy hopped on my bike to see where Doug was. We were worried. Doug had been pulled over. The cop said when Doug rode by, the sound of his pipes scared him. He said if he was an old lady it would have scared her so bad she would have wrecked. He then went onto say, “The local residents don't like “ you people” in their town. He added, there were going to be a lot of “you people” in town this weekend and there would be a lot of tickets written.”... Come on, Doug is 56 years old, he wasn't even rapping his pipes, he was just riding. I swear this prick just pulled him over at random. Anyways... Randy sees him and pulls into the restaurant parking lot. Doug explained to the idiot, his friend was just coming back to check on him. The officer walked to Randy and demanded his paperwork. He told Randy his bike was too loud and issued him a ticket for exhaust noise as well. Again, come on, Randy just pulled into the parking lot. The punk officer then lectured them both on modified exhaust systems. He then closed by telling them if we were staying in town we could be ticketed again, so if we did ride be sure to “just putt around”. The ticket will cost us $125.

We did tell several business owners what happened. They said a large percentage of their customers were bikers and they would bring it up a the city counsel meeting. We have written a letter to the police chief also. Hey, ya can't blame us for tryin'.

We didn't let it spoil our vacation. We had a blast.

Of course, blogger will not upload pix...

Ok, sat for too long, abdomen, pain, more pain pills...gotta go....

Patriot Gaurd Riders mission pix

2006-09-09T02:23:00.000-05:00

Patriot Gaurd Riders, riding in.

I love this guy.

Protesters/fuckwads, whatever.

Another PGR Funeral Ride

2006-08-25T21:34:00.000-05:00

Randy and I went to another funeral of a fallen soldier with the PGR (Patriot Guard Riders http://patriotguard.org/ ). He was 31 years old. He had a wife, a three year old son, and an nine year old daughter. There were 150 of us. We formed a human barrier around the funeral home with our 3'x5' American flags on 8 foot tall poles. And yes, the Westboro Baptist Church and their infamous leader, Reverend Phelps, were there. They were not protesting the war, only the fact that our government is tolerant of homosexuality in the armed forces. The new law is, they must stay 500 feet away and can only protest the funeral 1 hour before it starts and 1 hour after it starts. All businesses surrounding the funeral home had security to block the crazies from protesting on their property.

They stayed there on a median in the street for the full 2 hours. There were about 15 of them. Men, women, and children holding their signs that read, “GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS”, and a new one, “SOLDIERS ARE FAGS.” It broke my heart. The adults stand in the center with the children surrounding them. They were singing a song to the melody of “As the Casons (spelling?) Go Rolling Along”. I can't remember all the words, but they were singing words like, as the fag soldiers' arms, legs are thrown in the air from explosions...I don't know, I had to go to another place in my head to block them out. The guard pulled 30 of us to form 3 lines deep about 50 feet in front of them so the family could not see them. We totally blocked them from their view. Vehicles were driving by flipping the protesters off, laying scratch in front of them and so on. They finally left.

We all road to the grave sight and gathered in a U shape around the tent. There was a 21 gun solute and the ritual of the folding of the flag. The soldiers, men and women, as soldiers do, stood strong with complete emotionless faces at attention. I know they had to go somewhere else in their head as I did. I was standing way to close to the family. The mother and her daughter were sobbing. I was standing there trying to hold back tears. I looked at the trees, the clouds, tried to think of other things. I held my flag in front of my face hoping no one would notice the tears that finally came rolling down my face. I finally composed myself when the 9 year old daughter came a shook our hands and thanked us for being there. It took everything I had not to let go the pain and empathy I felt. I will never stand so close again. However, after it was all over, I felt as if I did a good thing. I enjoyed the ride and all of my fellow riders.

A phenomenal poet and fellow blogger, Sir James E. Watkins wrote a poem that truly fit the entire experience, the war, the protesters... A poem called “Listen”. He posted it on 08/04/06. Check it out. It helped me through... http://endlesssaga.blogspot.com/2006_08_01_endlesssaga_archive.html

Now, on a lighter note....There was a business close by. The building was probably about 15 stories tall. Apparently the president of the company watched everything from his window. He came over and invited all of us to his employee cafeteria for lunch. Randy arrived late because he was one of the riders who escorted the mourning family to a restaurant they were all meeting. He also escorted the hearst to the grave sight. My husband exudes strength. He is always chosen to do special duty.

I only took a few photos at the staging area before the ride...If they don't upload, I will post them later.

My Walmart Visit and pickles

2006-08-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

Okay, I got nothin'. I can't think of anything to write about. Then, I thought about the highlight of my day.

Devin and I went to Walmart. We are checking out. The cashier was a middle aged man, kind of nerdy, he had very thick glasses, a 1920's haircut and a plaid shirt on. Something was amiss about him. He was a little different, kinda special, if ya know what I mean. The plaid shirt wasn't the big plaid squares, it was fine lined small squared plaid. I hope that makes sense because the plaid shirt is what made my day.

I ask the cashier, “How are you doing.” He says with a very puzzled but concerned tone, “I'm having a weird day.” I say, “Oh, you've had a lot of strange customers today, huh?” He said, “No, a weird day. Every time I lean to close to the scanner,” as he points at his plaid shirt, “my shirt rings up dill pickles. It took me half the day to figure it out why I kept ringing up dill pickles.”

Jod bless him, he looked so serious and didn't even crack a smile when he said it. Devin and I looked at each other and a delayed laughter hit us. We couldn't help it. I said, “That's kinda funny”. He didn't respond. He just kept his head down, scanning and sacking, scanning and sacking. So, of course, Devin and I starting laughing again, but we quickly stifled it because the cashier was seriously stressed about it.

All I could think about after I left was, “How many people paid for dill pickles today that didn't buy any?” I kept picturing him ringing up dill pickles and freaking out, two, three times in row as he moved to and fro in front of the scanner. “What, what's going on?” (hee hee)

When I got home, I checked my receipt. If I would have seen dill pickles on it, I swear, I would have died..

Five - Breakin' the rule of the shoe meme

2006-08-14T21:18:00.000-05:00

I was tagged to do the shoe meme by Zilla. Here goes...

Ok. I hate shoes. I'm certainly not one of those women who has 50 pair. If I had my druthers, I would go barefoot. Rocks, hot black top, and the fact I have to, keep me from doing so. I had to use 5 pairs because these are the shoes I wear.

The two pair of sandals I have, I love and wear the most. Those little black hippie sandals are my very favoritist. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em. They are so comfortable. I love shoes that you can just slip on and off whenever. GOT to be able to relax when you need to. I kick 'em off in the car, at home, and at work when I'm at my desk. This is a MUST in a pair of Becky shoes. I suppose it's because I always feel lazy. However, this does not apply for my Adidas tennis shoes and Harley boots. Sometimes you have to have shoes for utility purposes only. Need my boots for riding and my Adidas for walking.

My Eastlands clogs, I wear them the least. I suppose I may wear them more this winter. I bought them because, of course, they looked comfortable, felt comfortable, and they slip on and off (a must), and were on sale. This is another must for me because I'm cheap, I mean frugal. Oh how I enjoy gettin' a bargain. It's a great feeling.

The most secret part of me revealed by my shoes? I guess that I'm lazy and I feel a little euphoric when I find a bargain.

Truly, I have no secret self, my life is an open book! I'm going to tag Lori for the shoe meme. Do not get this confused with the Champion Tag Team psychedelic, tie die, ribbon winning Lori and Becky tag, this is a shoe meme tag. I think Lori will play.

I'm going to see Lori!

2006-08-10T21:25:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh! Devin and I are leaving to go see Lori tomorrow. I can't wait to see Sammy, Mike, Mitch, Milesy, Rachel, and Jordie! We'll be leaving tomorrow evening. Lori and I are going to blog together, so look out, we will be a tag team. I miss all of them sooo much!

Here we come sis! Wooo, woo. Randy said if I break my leg, get food poisoning, or drunk and have a hang-over...Don't even bother to come home.

I must be very careful. I must not eat at the Chinese restuarant in Buffalo, and only one drinky for me.

We must go flee marketing again! I promise I will not run out to my car to get anything as to not hurt myself... I'll send Devin. It will be a boo boo free weekend.

I can't wait!

How I Met My Husband

2006-08-04T02:08:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep tonight. I usually don't have a problem with this. The last two weeks have been an exception. I don't know if it is the heat or what...Anyways...Sassy inspired me to share the story of how Randy and I met.

I had been single for about two years after a sad break up with, who I just knew was Mr. Right. I was 29 years old. I was going college, working, and didn't have a lot of time for dating. Now that I look back, I guess I was working at becoming the person I wanted to be. Yeah sure, I met some men. None of which interested me in the least; not even a spark.

I was living in a basement apartment I rented from a wonderful lady. She was like a second mother to me. Marcia was a beautician. Located right next to my apartment was her shop. I was always complaining, “When am I going to meet a good man. Are there even any out there? I want children. When was the last time I had sex?” (Maybe I should have left the last comment out...Naaahhh).

A woman, Joyce (my future mother-in-law), would come to get her hair done occasionally. She brought her grandson (Devin) a couple of times. He was the cutest little, fat, bald headed baby you ever saw. Marcia would yell, “Becky, come see the baby!” I would hold Devin while she had her hair done. What a sweet and mellow child. He always had a smile on his face.

Apparently, Marcia and Joyce decided they were going to fix me up with Joyce's newly divorced son, Randy. Marcia yelled at me from her shop, “Becky, come here. I have something I want to ask you.” Joyce and Marcia made their proposition. The first thing I thought was, “This guy must be ugly and a geek if his mother is trying to fix him up.” Then Joyce whipped out a picture. There was Randy leaned up against some lockers in an Army barracks. He had the bottom of his right foot propped on the locker, with his right knee slightly protruding. What a pose. He was shirtless with his hands in the pockets of his fatigues. Lookin' fine! Mmmm, Mmm, Mmm. ( I swear, about 5 years ago, I saw that picture. Randy was just standing next to some lockers in a T-shirt and fatigues, smiling. What ever. That is not he way I remembered it.) I accepted.

My fantastically, sweet sister Lori, and her two kids, Rachel (12) and Mitch (10) were visiting. Randy came over to meet me. Marcia, me, Lori, and the kids were in Marcia's kitchen when Randy arrived. He was about 5' 9”, about 145 pounds, thin, but well per portioned. (Thin was good. I've always liked my men built for speed, not for comfort.) He had the nicest smile I've ever seen. Mitch elbowed me in the side and said, “Aunt Becky, he the one, I can feel it.”

A ready made family. Randy was 35 and Devin was 10 months old. We have been together ever since. Devin's birth mother, who I always refer to as “the incubator”, never came around. Apparently, she moved out of state. I still have never met her or heard from her. If I did, I would shake her hand and thank her.

Pics of my significant others

2006-07-30T16:21:00.000-05:00

Finally!!! Picture download!!!! This is a picture of my handsome son and beautiful animals. Molly shaking Devin's hand. Snowball sleeping at my feet under the computer desk. (Need to clean those baseboards under the desk). Bogart waiting for his food. Snowball sitting next to Devin while he is on his computer. Molly looking a little annoyed for some reason.

Two Stories for Zilla

2006-07-29T12:10:00.000-05:00

Warning...This is grody, grody, gross.

It was my first year working telecommunications for residential service. It was very busy. My headset just quit on me. I have to log out of the phone. This threw up a red flag to my supervisor. We needed all people on the phone.

I worked nights; no access to the storage closet. I needed a headset. My supervisor suggested, " Why don't you use, Tammy's headset. She's not working tonight." I didn't think a thing about it. I said, " Sure".

The next day my ear was hurting. Still didn't think anything of it. The next day, my ear was really sore. There was a frapping zit in my ear canal. I could't get to it. The following day it was so swollen, I couldn't hear out of my zit ear. I had to go to the doctor's and have the monster lanced.

The moral of the story. Do not ever use anybodies headset! God only knows what kind of DNA and cooties are floating around on the sombitch! End of story...next

Dumpster Diving

The other night it was semi-cool outside. I thought, maybe I should take the dog for a walk.... Nah, I'm gonna blog instead. I read Zilla's post and it suggested excersise. Oh, the power of suggestion...

I was walking the dog past a neighbor's house. They had some of the nicest things on the curb. I could not help myself, I was drawn to it. There was a tent, a sleeping bag, two very nice coolers, and a pet taxi. I have never dumpster dived in my life. Surely they had it sitting there to load up in their truck to go camping. Went up, knocked on the door. They told me they had cleaned out their shed and wanted to get rid of it. They thought if they put it out on the curb, someone may want it. I was all over it. I walked home faster than I've ever walked. Grabbed the car, went, and loaded up the trunk.

I gave the tent and sleeping bag to my son. Devin was so excited, we washed the sleeping bag, set up the tent, and camped out in the back yard. Yes, me, Devin, and the dog. It was great!

Thanks Zilla!

Needed to burn another vacation day today...

2006-07-28T08:53:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning. I drag my ass out of bed, brew some coffee, and let my dog out. My neck and shoulders ache. I feel a bit foggy. Okay, I'm not feeling it today. As my younger sister would say, “I'm sick and I'm old”. Yes, that's how I feel.

I call into work to see if any vacation days are available... Eureka, there is one! Give it to me, give it to me! Yeah, I got it!

I can hardly stand my job most days. I work in telecommunications in large business, or as my company would say, “The world wide customer service center”. Yes, they selected 30 people out of our center to be on-line reps taking non-stop calls for customer service.
“Thank you for calling blah blah blah Worldwide customer service center, this is Becky blah blah blah, how may I help you today?”

Customer...”I am the telecommunication technician at blah blah blah Incorporated. I have a T.1 circuit, it comes into my building from the the d-marc, through the PBX. I need to know how to configure my equipment to have the 24 channels route to my , PRI lines, my BRI lines, my ISDN lines, and my DID's.”

Me thinking....”What the fuck are you talking about!!?? Don't you have a billing question? I handle billing for God's sake. If you are a fucking techy, why don't YOU know how to do this?
My response, “ Why yes, I CAN assist you with that. May I get some information from you. Your name, your can be reached number, and account number?”

Customer... “Well I don't know my account number, can't you look it up by the name of the company? It's a business account.”

Me thinking... "Of course it's a business account you idiot. Fuck no, I can't! You are a large business! Don't you even know the account number you're calling in about? I have thirty-one different systems, offer 8 different kinds of business service, and you don't know!!!!”

My response...”I would need more information. Many corporations have several accounts under the same name.. Do you know the main phone number associated with your account and CAN cross reference it.”

Customer...” I'm a technician, I don't have access to that information. Can't YOU people do anything. I been transferred 3 times. I have been on the phone for 20 minutes. "

Me thinking...”You've been transferred around because you don't know shit about your own company and don't even know your account fucking number! Well, that me pull that out of my ass.”

Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.

I end the call after searching 15 systems and basically pulling the information out of my ass, “I located your account. Let me get you to the correct department so we CAN better assist you. The number there is 888-888-8888. Is there anything else I can assist you with? Do you mind holding while I transfer you? You have a great day, and thank you for calling blah blah blah World wide customer service center, have a great day.”

Sorry for boring all of you with my rant and my ass kissing job. It was very cathartic. You didn't sense any hostility, did you? (This is why I take anti-depressants.) Thank goodness for all of the wonderful people I work with, the great pay, and the benefits or I would be outta there!

Yeah, I got a vacation day! Now that I got that out, I can enjoy it.

If you made it through my whole post.....I took some pictures of my animals surrounding me this morning. How they calm me.... Molly., Snowball, and bogart. I must warn you, I'm no photographer. But of course, blogger will not post my pics... I'll try later.

Skunk piss?

2006-07-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

I came home one evening from a date. I was met at the door by my roomy Theresa all in a thither. "Becky! You've got to help me. You've got to talk to Mark. He is going to kill the neighbors!"

As mentioned in my previous post, Mark adored his animals. Especially his stud pittbull, Toes. Toes was a sweety, peetie pie. I don't think I ever heard him growl, just lovable as hell. Some how Toes got loose. Apparently, he caught a scent of something he could not resist.

Mark heard a gunshot and in his paranoid, discrete manner looked out the window. Toes was scampering home from the neighbor's whimpering. Mark saw his prize dog and ran to the door to find Toes bleeding from his ass. That's right, Toes had buck shot peppered across his doggy behind.

Mark marched over to next door, which was, oh about 1/8 of a mile away. It seemed Toes, being the horny stud dog he was, wondered over to the neighbor's, jumped the fence, and raped his pure bread poodle. And according to the neighbor, tried to pillage his village too. He claimed he attempted to break up this horrible violation and Toes tried to attack him. Only to defend himself, he shot Toes with his shotgun.

Mark was enraged, incensed, infuriated! Knowing Toes, you knew this was bullshit. He asked, as calmly as he could to the man, "If Toes was trying to attack you, why does he have buckshot in his ass?" I'm not sure what, but the man stammered some poor excuse. Rather than react, Mark walked away quietly plotting how he would respond.

He was going to "kill the mother fucker". He knew he could rip his head off or shoot him but he would be arrested for this. So after contemplating all of his options, he decided he would pour mercury in the man's well. This, of course, with the amount Mark wanted to use, would poison the man and his family to death.

Theresa and I pleaded with him, "Mark, it was that bastard that did it. He has small children and a wife, you can't possibly do this!" After about 30 minutes, Mark agreed it would be a deadly mistake.

Mark, crazy as he was, devised his plan of attack. He waited patiently for about two weeks. He had soaked rags in paint thinner in a large coffee can and placed the lid on. He had a small bottle of skunk urine,(somehow used for hunting to throw off the scent of a human), and drew it into a large syringe. The first night....Mark slipped into his camouflage, he even painted his face just like a soldier. He crept over to the house and placed all of the rags strategically on the man's car. The second night....camouflaged, he lurked over to the house. It was a nice breezy summer evening and the neighbor had his windows open. Mark ejected a stream of skunk urine across the man's living room. Do you know how difficult it is to rid a house of skunk scent?

Mark had completed his maneuvers and avenged Toes without killing anyone. We very seldom saw the neighbor after that and when we did, he went out of his way not to make eye contact. Oh, that brilliantly crazy Mark, ya gotta love him.

Saved by an old biker

2006-07-19T20:30:00.000-05:00

I was 22 years young and in a horribly abusive relationship. He was a worthless, non-working, drug addicted alcoholic. Oh yes, I knew how to pick 'em. I can not even begin to tell you the things this puke did. He always said he would rather see me dead that with another man. I knew I had to escape to survive.

I went to work and never came home. I got out with one change of clothes, my make-up, and my purse. Puke, of course, gave all of my belongings away. I moved in with my friend Carolyn that I worked with at the bar. Puke started stalking me. The bouncers protected me at work. They were off duty police officers and when Puke was around, would even give me a ride home. I awoke one morning with Puke sleeping next to me in my bed. The freak broke into Carolyn's house through a window. It was time to move again.

I didn't have anywhere to go. I didn't want to expose anyone else to Puke slithering around their homes or families.

I had another friend I worked with, Theresa. Not really an exceptional person, but she had a bad ass boyfriend. A few months prior, Puke and I met Mark, via Theresa, after the bar closed and was invited to his motorcycle gang's clubhouse to party. Mark despised him and told me Puke was never welcome at the clubhouse again. Mark was exceptional.

Mark and Theresa invited me to move in with them. We lived on the outskirts of town in an old rental house on 240 acres. Mark protectively stated, "Let the son-of-a-bitch come out here. I'll shoot him, bury him out in the north forty, and no one will ever know". He was serious. Puke knew this. Puke never bothered me again.

Mark was crazy. He would tell you, "I'm crazy. I have papers to prove it. Ya want to see 'em?" He was on permanent disability. He was a little paranoid and had a gun by every window. He adored his animals. He had a pitbull names Toes, and a basset hound named Sammy Dog. Toes was breeding stock and before breeding, Mark would always say, "Toes won't fuck unless I read him Penthouse Forum", and he would. Sammy Dog could talk. He would only do it if you had food. "Sammy, say hello". "Herro. Herro". You had better give him his snack.

Mark was probably around 45. I never knew his last name. I went out of my way to avoid learning too much for fear of being questioned by the police. He taught me how to take care of myself, how to shoot, how to change a tire, and freed me. I had many adventures living there. He may have been a bit of an outlaw, but he was an angel to me.

I often wonder how old Mark is doin'. Bless you baby, where ever you are.

Pics of our PGH Mission

2006-07-09T14:09:00.000-05:00

On our first PGH mission, Randy was asked to be a blocker. I was proud of him. He would ride to the front of the procession and block the intersections so we could stay in a group. I was the tail gunner (the very last one in the procession). It was nice. The family was so greatful and kind. They invited all of us back to thier home.

The Patriot Guard Riders against Freak Reverend Phelps

2006-07-03T22:58:00.000-05:00

We have a complete idiot living in Topeka, Kansas. This man has completely disgusted me for years. His name is Reverend Fred Phelps; his church, The Westboro Baptist Church (WBC). The majority of his congregants are related to him by blood. His wife, several of his children and dozens of his grandchildren frequent the church. The man is a complete freak who has, as far as I'm concerned, tortured mourning families since 1991. If you would like to see how twisted his clan is, check out his website.

http://www.adl.org/special_reports/wbc/default.asp

The group was known for picketing the funerals of gay people or those they thought to be gay. In 1998, WBC congregants set off an angry reaction when they showed up at the funeral of gay murder victim Matthew Shepard, and held up signs reading "No Fags in Heaven" and "God Hates Fags." According to the WBC Web site, they have staged "over 22,000" protests across the nation and around the world since 1991.

Since the summer of 2005, they began picketing the funerals of U.S. soldiers who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan as a way of venting rage at a government that they believe is tolerant of homosexuality.

This is how the Patriot guard Riders came about. The WBC was at a funeral of a fallen soldier, picketing. They were holding signs and screaming, "GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, NO NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, etc...
They were yelling at the mourning family how their son was a fag.

Some veterans went to that funeral and stood firm to guard the family from the crazed idiots. The Patriot guard Website:

http://test.patriotguard.org/AboutUs/OurHistory/tabid/145/Default.aspx

Randy and I have joined. Since 2005 the Patriot guard Riders are 43, 414 strong. We will ride on our first mission to St. Joseph, Missouri for the services for a fallen soldier and then ride to Whitecloud, KS for the funeral on July 7th. We are expecting 300 riders. I certainly hope the WBC does not show up. If they do, I'll look that son-of-bitch Phelps dead in the eye, and lip, "I love fags!". Cuz I do.

My warrant

2006-06-19T21:45:00.000-05:00

I want all of you to keep in mind, I was only eighteen...

I used to have a boyfriend Lowell, who was very charismatic and handsome (not as handsome as my man now. Oh, how I love that man of mine. That's another story). Any way, Lowell had a group of friends that would follow him everywhere he went (if they could find him). He came over to my house on his motorcycle, and of course, eventually his clan followed. All were drunk and feelin' a little rowdy. (I wasn't). Yeah! What fun.

There were 8 motorcycles parked in my front yard. Suddenly, a fight breaks out. It is Lowell's brother and one of his buddies. Oh how they loved to fight when they were drunk. Weeee. How stupid was I when I was younger...

The neighbors called the police. I guess when the cops heard there were 8 bikers, they came in full force. There were 5 cop cars and then came another. The last cop get out of his car in full riot gear. He had his helmut on and his shotgun in his hand. My little dog Cocoa, half Chihuahua and half rat terrier was petrified. She started barking at him. The cop points his gun at my baby and said, "You had better shut that dog up, or I'll shoot it". (The fucktard! Great word!) So I respond, " You better ya pussy or she may bike your leg off!"

That son of a bitch grabbed me, swung me around on to the hood of his car head first and handcuffed me!!! I about pooped my panties. I had never really been in trouble before and was totally caught off guard. Lowell pipes in and yells not to arrest his girlfriend and he was cuffed too.

We went to jail together. Oh, how romantical. We were in the holding cage together smooching and laughing, having a good time. The clerks were asking us our names, ages, and so on and so forth. They asked, "Okay, the big question. Are you married?" Hell no or we would be fightin' instead of smoochin'. My mom came and bailed both of us out. She didn't mind at all. She loved Lowell. (Hmmm, how messed up is that?)

I was arrested for obstruction of justice. Whatever... There was a court date and a $50 fine attached. Whoops! I missed it. Later, of course they caught up with me.

The guy got shot! It was like a movie.

2006-06-02T15:29:00.000-05:00

In my younger days....On one of my many adventures with one of my best friends Chris.....

We were out and gettin' drunk for about the third day in a row, we saw one of Chris's friends at the bar (Tony). We were havin' a great time dancin', singin', and jokin'. Tony, felt like a third wheel because Chris my friend, is a dude. Tony wanted to see if one of his old girl friends was home.

It was about one in the morning and we pulled up to this chick's apartment in Tony's '55 Chevy convertable (bad ass car!). Chris and I were waiting in the car when we heard a loud pop. Chris being my protective man friend yells, "Get down!" He grabs my head and shoves it down towards the floor of the car.

Suddenly Tony comes staggering from behind the apartment house (ya know, kinda like Fred Sanford during a fake heart attack). He says, very dramatically, "I've been shot!" He is holding the back of his neck to stop the blood where he had been shot. Chris said very dramatically, "Get in the car and I'll drive ya to the hospital!" Tony said, "Hell no, nobody's drivin' my car!" Yes, he did say that! Thank god, the hospital was only about four blocks away and with the exception of Tony's gunshot wound, we arrived safely.

Finally, Chris did drive Tony's car away because he had warrants and would not go in. So, I go in at Tony's side. He's bleeding and the medical staff rushes out and gets him on a gurny and puts in him a room to await a doctor. In the mean time, the cops come into the room to interigate. Damn, it turned out I had a waurrent out for my arrest (that's another story) and they drug me away in hand cuffs from Tony's bed.

It turns out Tony's old girlfriend had a new boyfriend. I never saw Tony again, but I knew he survived.

......................Several years later, about 22 years later, my husband was over visiting one of his friends. A man named tony was talking about the time he was shot and a girl named Becky was at his side and was arrested, whatever. Randy, my husband said, "That was my wife", and shot him again! .....Just kiddin'.

It turns out Tony was shot with a shotgun and had buck shot in his neck and still does. However, he is doing fine.

Becky - Lori's sister

2006-05-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

Alright, I'm going to tell you the real story of my broken leg, damn it!

So's anyways.....I've cooked the potatoes...I ran out to my car to get my antique strainer I had purchased at the flee market that day with Lori (that's where I got the damned strainer). How could Lori have forgotten my great find that day, I don't know. My heal caught the end of the last stair and down I went. I jumped up as fast as I could and looked around to see if anyone saw (ya know, like you do when you do a graceful move like that, and had a hard time trying to stand. I tried to get to my car and realized I couldn't. I made it back in the house and got one hell of a head rush. Told everyone I fell. My ex brother-in-law Mike (that son of a bitch) said, "Well, I don't have to rake my yard, you have the leaves on your sweater". He did not belive anything was wrong with my leg. It didn't hurt, it was numb. (I say all of this with love). By the time I got back in the house Mike had already strained the potatoes and it was all done in vain.

When I found out I broke my leg, I called and told them, " You son of bitches, I broke my leg!" I had to make them feel the guilt.

Sorry I use son of bitches so much. These are my words. Lori's words are "cock suckers", and our sister Crystal's word is bastards. This is when we are in a bitch fest talking about our men. We cuss like truck drivers in our family. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.

Well, that's the real story! Lori wasn't even there! Just kiddin'.